The definition of happiness varies for each of us at different times of our lives. When I was in my twenties happiness meant being married with 2.5 kids, living in a house with a white picket fence.... you know the American dream! As I got older I stopped looking for people or materials things to make me happy. Happiness now is more of a state of mind it's not about the material things, it's a feeling of being content with my life and the choices I have made. Since I no longer rely on people to define my happiness I have no one except myself to blame if I lose it.
Unfortunately many of us base happiness on the successes or failures of our relationships with men. This is the ultimate happiness stealer. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being happy with the one you love but when you do not have happiness as a state of mind then it can be stolen. It took me some years to get it right, but I have finally learned that in order to love and be loved the way I deserved I had to be content with me. I had to lay down some rules for my happiness. I was determined to get my happy back...by any means necessary! So I am sharing with you some surefire ways to get your happy back:
Put YOU First - I know to some people this seems selfish especially when we have families who needs us constantly, but you really have to make yourself a priority; if not you will become burned out, resentful and unhappy.
Reassess Your Circle - Surround yourself with people who aren't joy stealers. Deep down you know who these people are. They are the ones who constantly criticize your looks, words, clothes and decisions. Most of the times these are the people who are the closest ones to you and that is why they are able to rob you of your joy, sometimes without you even knowing.
Consider the Source - I realized that sometimes people tried to give me advice based on their issues NOT mine. Nope...not gonna happen! Just because you are unhappy in your situation doesn't mean I have to be unhappy in mine.
Understand Your Worth - This one is the most important to me. We all deserve to be happy! You don't need anyone to determine your level of happiness or your sense of worth. Only you control that and no matter how much you love someone you should never give them that power!
So go ahead and take it all back!! Get your SEXY back, get your JOY back and GET YOUR HAPPY BACK!!!!!
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3 comments:
Love this!! Thanks for the reminders! I'm in a crazy season right now, and I'm rediscovering that #1 is as true now as it was before. Always feel a bit selfish putting myself first, but what you said is true. If we are burned out, tierd, or resentful, we are not good for anyone.
Thanks for posting this...and for the inspiration!
And let the ladies say... AMEN!
While I totally agree with all of these points, the one that sticks out the most to me is about understanding your worth. I wrote a post ( http://www.mommydelicious.com/2011/01/because-youre-worth-it.html )awhile back about the devastation that can happen when we forget our worth.
I know for me, in my last relationship, among other things, one of the things that kept me in such a toxic relationship is that I could NO LONGER SEE how fundamentally freakin' awesome I was/am. And it was sad and devastating and unfortunate all wrapped up in one depressing bow. Had I not forgotten what I was worth, I would have never stayed for so long.
Growing pains... I have a love/hate relationship with 'em. I hate when I'm going through it, but in this case, the grass REALLY IS greener on the other side.
I really loved this post!!!!! We sometimes need to just have that quick snap back....Thanks
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