What's on Your Checklist?

Most of us have a checklist with the things we want to accomplish for the New Year and usually that list includes a new and improved weight loss regimen. However, I came across a list that includes some items that many of us may not think about putting on our list. (I love #36) Enjoy and Happy New Year!

In 2012, I believe all women should have or work toward having:

1. Peace of mind and if possible a piece of property.

2. A will.

3. Willpower.

4. A savings account in your own name.

5. A mammogram.

6. A manicure (not to mention a pedicure, a facial and a massage--all on the same day).

7. A set of matching luggage.

8. A ticket to some exotic place to unpack it.

9. A great hairdresser, manicurist and gynecologist.

10. A passionate, fiery, unforgettable love affair.

11. A little black dress that makes you look five pounds thinner.

12. A sense of humor, style and purpose.

13. A selfish streak.

14. A spiritual foundation that gets you through a very bad night without going crazy.

15. A facial foundation that gets you through a very long day without going ashy.

16. A good bra.

17. A good spa.

18. A library card (used often).

19. A credit card (used sparingly).

20. At least one person in your life who says: "You call, I come."

21. Good body language (multilingual!).

22. A broken heart and the knowledge you can survive it.

23. A cause (domestic violence, infant mortality, save the whales--your choice).

24. A personal relationship with God.

25. A personal trainer.

26. Selective amnesia ("What Saturday morning meeting?").

27. Gall.

28. A good skin-care regimen.

29. The ability to converse on any subject without benefit of concrete knowledge or access to facts.

30. A shocking secret.

31. A pair of silk pajamas.

32. A lifetime membership in at least one organization that uplifts women.

33. The phone number of someone who is good with their hands.

34. At least one drop-dead, don't-speak-to-me-because-you-know-you-don't-know-me gorgeous photo of yourself.

35. A friendship that has stood the test of time.

36. One last chance to tell the guy you were crazy about in your 20s who treated you like cigarette ashes on the floor what you were too dumb to know when he walked out with your heart in his hands: "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

37. A soul mate.

38. Faith, hope and a good fantasy.

39. A dream.

40. A plan to make it come true.

Parts of list taken from 1997 Ebony Magazine Johnson Publishing Co.

Educating, Inspiring and Empowering Our Girls!

As a mother of two daughters I know the importance of teaching girls how to love themselves unconditionally. Did you know that 7 out of 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, their performance in school or their relationships with their families and friends? When I read this statistic it made me wonder just when do our girls lose their self-confidence? When do they go from little girls who do not have a care in the world filled with confidence and self-esteem to girls who are filled with self-doubt who do not love what they see when they look in the mirror? According to The National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, the self-esteem tipping point happens during the transition to teenage years. These years are the most crucial for girls; this is when they stop communication with us - the adults in their lives.

I saw this first hand when my oldest daughter was making this transition...she went from a little girl who would come home everyday and tell me everything that happened in school from first to last period, to a teenager who trusted and confided more in her friends then in me. Now that she is a young adult we are back to the relationship we had when she was younger, but we missed out on some important communication during those teenage years. What is very interesting is that most girls wish to have open and frequent conversations with their parents - but sometimes they don't know how or are not sure what our reactions will be to what is going on in their lives.

Educating, inspiring and empowering young girls to love themselves unconditionally has become one of my biggest passions. I believe in the importance of empowering our girls and helping them build the strength needed to deal with the many challenges they will face in life. It is because of this passion that I started I Love Me Unconditionally, a mentoring program to help girls build healthy, positive self images.

I recently posted about stepping out on faith and following what I believe to be God's purpose for my life. So using my role as a mother and my background as an educator I started the I Love Me Unconditionally mentoring program for girls and I am proud to say that this summer we will be having our very first I Love Me! Summer Camp where girls will participate in fun activities while building a strong sense of self esteem and of course celebrating all that is fabulous about being a girl!

I am so excited about this new endeavor and I believe that if I can help just one girl learn to love themselves unconditionally then I know that I am fulfilling God's purpose for my life!

Celebrating all that is fabulous about being a mom and a woman!

We are amazing aren't we? Mothers have a certain kind of resilience that allows us to cope with the small inconveniences of life as well as the major catastrophes. I love being a mom and although there have been times during my 21 years of motherhood that I believed I wasn't so good at it....I know now that I rock as a mother to my girls! That's right, I am tooting my own horn! Why shouldn't I? My girls are healthy, happy and loved! I didn't say I am a perfect mother but to my girls I am and that is all that counts! Have I made mistakes at this job along the way...sure! Was it always easy....nope! Was it all worth it...as I watch them grow into strong, confident and beautiful young women I say....ABSOLUTELY!

It took me a while, but I learned to find a healthy balance between being a mother and being a woman. I learned to make time for my girls but to also make time just for me. Sometimes we put so much time into making sure that our children are taken care of that we forget to take care of ourselves. I learned that being a mother means that at times I have to temporarily put aside my needs in order to provide for my girls but my needs MUST be meet eventually. From the first day that I became a mother I loved my girls unconditionally! But when I learned to love myself unconditionally I became a better mother!

So ladies if you know that you are doing your best at this beautiful thing called motherhood while still finding time to take care of you then lift your glass and celebrate all that is fabulous about being a mom and a woman!

Happy Mother's Day!

I Love Myself Affirmation

Today I am feeling especially inspired. I guess it was the wonderful Spring Break week I had as well as the celebration of Easter one of the most important holidays in my life! So I decided to share with all of you the I Love Myself Affirmation by Louise Hay. I hope it inspires you as much as it inspires me!

Deep at the centre of my being,
there is an infinite well of love.

I now allow this love to flow to the surface.
It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness,
my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions
and returns to me mutliplied.
The more love I use and give, the more I have to give.
The supply is endless.
The use of love makes me feel good,
it is an expression of my inner joy.

I love myself;
therefore, I take loving care of my body.
I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages,
I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly
responds to me with vibrant health and energy.

I love myself; therefore provide for myself
a comfortable home, one that fills
all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.
I fill the rooms with the vibration of love
so that all who enter, myself included,
will feel this love and be nourished by it.

I love myself; therefore I work at a job I truly enjoy
doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities,
working with and for people I love and who love me,
and earning a good income.

I love myself; therefore, I behave and think in a loving
way to all people for I know that that which I give out
returns to me multiplied.
I only attract loving people in my world,
for they are a mirror of what I am.

I love myself; therefore I forgive and totally release
the past and all past experiences and I am free.

I love myself; therefore I live totally in the now,
experiencing each moment as good and knowing that
my future is bright and joyous and secure,
for I am a beloved child of God
and God lovingly takes care of me
now and forever more.

And so it is.

#2, #4, #8 and 911!

These past few days have been very eventful and I got a lot of things accomplished that were on my spring break to-do list.

On Tuesday, I finally cleaned out that top drawer of my nightstand and even found a pair of sunglasses I thought I lost last summer (#2 clean out the top drawer of the nightstand) I got in a little “me” time and went to the hairdresser to get my new spring do and I even got a little bargain shopping done for myself. (#8 have a little “me” time)

On Wednesday, my bff and I took our daughter’s out for lunch at a Hibachi restaurant and then went for some yummy frozen yogurt! (oh, yeah and my bff had a dangerously severe allergic reaction to the seafood we ate and we had to call 911 and rush her to the emergency room…but that is a whole other post)

Yesterday, we went to the city and met my oldest daughter Shay for dinner. It is always so good to see her!
(#4 spend some quality girl time with my daughters)

Today is Good Friday and all I plan to do is relax and thank God for sacrificing his only son in order for me to have such an abundant life.

The Strong Silent Type

My father has always been a man of very few words. For example, if you asked him for permission to do something his answer usually was, "go ask your mother" or if you asked his opinion about something he could give it in one sentence or less. Even as a child words of affirmation was my love language so growing up it was frustrating for me as I often wondered why he didn't have more to say. However, through the years I learned to read his silence and realized that it spoke volumes. Without saying a word I knew when my father was disappointed, impressed, annoyed, and amused. I could read it in his eyes, his expressions, and in between the few words that he did say.

Today my father turns 74 and looking back I thank God for all the things he has done for me more than the things he has spoken. I thank God for his love of learning that apparently has rubbed off on me. I thank God for giving him the strength to be the only working parent for many years and allowing my mother to be a sahm and take care of us. I thank God that he was able to walk me down the aisle and dance with me at my wedding. These gifts are priceless!!

So Happy Birthday Daddy and thank you because now I understand that your strength isn't in your words but in your heart.

I Heart My Hubby.....Unconditionally!

Today is Valentine’s Day and as I mentioned in a previous post I LOVE this holiday! I know that people say that everyday should be Valentine’s Day but let’s be realistic……it isn’t! Sometimes the everyday routines of life can get in the way of showing the ones you love just how much they mean to you. My hubby and I usually plan monthly date nights but during the months of January and February he works a lot of late nights and on some weekends. During this busy time we only catch quick kisses in the early morning as we rush off to work and update each other about our day through emails and quick conversations as we doze off at night. This has been the procedure every year around this time for almost as long as we have been together so we are used to it. Although this isn’t an easy time for either one of us we make it work because we understand that the responsibilities of life can sometimes get in the way of romance.

However, Valentine’s Day falls right in the middle of this chaotic time and every year no matter how busy we are we make sure we plan a few hours just for ourselves. This year since Valentine’s Day is on a Monday we planned to celebrate on Sunday when we will both be home. Our 14-year old daughter decided to plan a romantic evening for us. (l.o.v.e that girl!) She decorated the house with rose petals and candles and cooked a delicious 5-course meal, which she served with a beautiful smile. Over dinner and wine my hubby and I talked, laughed and spent some much needed quality time. One thing that keeps our marriage unbreakable is that we both know that it is not about the amount of time we spend with each other, it’s about how we spend the time we have. We know that life can sometimes be hectic and chaotic but one thing that remains strong and steadfast is the foundation that we have built our marriage on! Isn’t it great that there is a day reserved just for celebrating that?

So today I want to tell my hubby that I love him unconditionally and thank him for always loving me unconditionally!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Nikki

It's not what you call me, but what I answer to!

Recently someone “jokingly” (at least I hope it was a joke) called me spoiled. ME spoiled? I have been called many things but spoiled was never one of them. So then I began to think about what it really means to be spoiled? Is that who people see when they look at me? In my opinion when someone is spoiled it means that they believe they are entitled to things without earning them or they have an over abundance of luxuries that they really don’t deserve. Okay, so I KNOW that is not me! Because when I think about all the things I have went without in my life in order to get where I am today, it is absurd that anyone could ever think that I am spoiled. Every luxury AND necessity that I possess my husband and I have worked and sacrificed for and we are STILL working and sacrificing in order to keep them.

However, if you define spoiled as being blessed with the good things life has to offer like the BEST husband in the world, two amazing daughters, health and happiness! Then you may be right! Only God knows my whole story of how I got where I am today. Only He knows about the struggles, the late night prayers and tears. I can truly say that I am blessed because God continues to supply all my needs. As I am writing I am overwhelmed with joy because I am so grateful that God loves me unconditionally and even though I may not be perfect He still sees fit to bless me. So………..

Do I like nice things? Heck yeah!
Do I believe that I am entitled to nice things? Yeah, sometimes!
Do I work hard for nice things? Heck to the yeah!
Do I deserve nice things? You better believe it!

But please don’t call me spoiled. Call me blessed and highly favored by God!

Weekend Inspiration!

Here is a quote that I hope will keep you inspired this weekend! I know it inspired me!

“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”

~ Stacey Charter

Do something fabulous for yourself this weekend and be an inspiration to others!

Unconditionally yours,

Nikki

Never Too Old For a BFF!

“Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be a true friend with anyone else in the world.”

I have had many friendships in my life, some like a good wine have matured over time and others I realize now were just for a season. When I was younger having a BFF was almost a necessity, I mean whom else could I talk to about that boy I was crushing on or call to find out what they were wearing to school the next day so we could dress alike (yes, I was a little corny when I was a tween). However, as an adult having a best friend became less of a priority and after a series of unhealthy and in some cases toxic “friendships” I convinced myself that I could have many friends but I did not need or want a so-called best friend.

So I became my own BFF. In order to do this I had to be brutally honest with myself just like a real best friend would. This meant being straightforward and telling myself the truth about things that I really didn’t want to admit. It meant laughing at myself and having a good cry when necessary. Most importantly it meant forgiving myself while understanding that I am not perfect.

Learning how to be a friend to myself taught me how to appreciate a real friend and helped me to begin a fabulous friendship with one of the most amazing women I know. Our friendship has become a healthy necessity for us both. We have become each other’s therapists! Even with our very busy lives we make sure that we have time for each other. This can be a phone call or a girl’s night out where we can vent or laugh about anything we want with no interruptions from the kids or our hubbies. One thing that makes our friendship special is that we both know what it means to be an unconditional friend. We know when to listen, when to offer advice and when to just pour another glass of wine and be silent. That is the beauty of our friendship. NO EXPLANATIONS NEEDED! I love it!

So in my opinion you are never too old to have a BFF once you know what it means to be your own best friend first and you have an unconditional friendship like I do!

Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself......

I am Nicole the third daughter of five, a middle child...(yes I had the middle child syndrome).  I am Worley- the nickname my loving and incredibly supportive husband has given me. (It's a long story but it has something to do with my maiden name) I am Mommy to two beautiful daughters who keep me young and on my toes! I am Nikki-the friend of a chosen few. I am teacher to all the little ones who enter my classroom door each year. All of these titles combined is what makes me who I am but in order for me to be the best I can be in all of these roles I had to go back to just being Nicole and learn how to love myself unconditionally!

Let me explain....
At some time or other I let each one of these roles define me. They controlled my level of happiness and how content I was about my life. Now don't get me wrong each one of these roles play a major role in my life and I would not have the wonderful life that I have now without them. However, I didn't always love myself no matter what. In order to do that I had to just be Nicole again. The Nicole that didn't have all these other roles and titles...the Nicole who only had herself to care for. Before the kids, the husband, the degrees, the house in the suburbs and the career.

This past summer I was determined to get to know her again.  So I made a little deal with myself; I would join the gym and get in shape and as I drive to the gym each day I would think about all the things that worried, depressed or burdened me. However, I promised myself that as soon as I walked through the gym doors I would not think about anything else except ME and leave all those stresses behind. At first it wasn't easy because as ran on the treadmill my mind kept going back to the last conversation I had with my daughter or what I was going to cook for dinner or if the all this hard work with my trainer was worth it all.

But eventually it worked. And with the help of Mary, Sasha Fierce and some of the many of gospel songs on my playlist I was able to tune out the world for two hours a day, six days a week, focus on ME and lose 40 pounds! This began the amazing rediscovery of me and learning to love myself from the inside out! I am still a work in progress but I am so excited about the rest of the journey!