I have had many friendships in my life, some like a good wine have matured over time and others I realize now were just for a season. When I was younger having a BFF was almost a necessity, I mean whom else could I talk to about that boy I was crushing on or call to find out what they were wearing to school the next day so we could dress alike (yes, I was a little corny when I was a tween). However, as an adult having a best friend became less of a priority and after a series of unhealthy and in some cases toxic “friendships” I convinced myself that I could have many friends but I did not need or want a so-called best friend.
So I became my own BFF. In order to do this I had to be brutally honest with myself just like a real best friend would. This meant being straightforward and telling myself the truth about things that I really didn’t want to admit. It meant laughing at myself and having a good cry when necessary. Most importantly it meant forgiving myself while understanding that I am not perfect.
Learning how to be a friend to myself taught me how to appreciate a real friend and helped me to begin a fabulous friendship with one of the most amazing women I know. Our friendship has become a healthy necessity for us both. We have become each other’s therapists! Even with our very busy lives we make sure that we have time for each other. This can be a phone call or a girl’s night out where we can vent or laugh about anything we want with no interruptions from the kids or our hubbies. One thing that makes our friendship special is that we both know what it means to be an unconditional friend. We know when to listen, when to offer advice and when to just pour another glass of wine and be silent. That is the beauty of our friendship. NO EXPLANATIONS NEEDED! I love it!
So in my opinion you are never too old to have a BFF once you know what it means to be your own best friend first and you have an unconditional friendship like I do!
7 comments:
OMG!!! I can totaly relate. I have gone through most of my adult life connecting to my husband as my bf, and he is. However, there is nothing in the world like having someone who understands being tired from cooking, cleaning, laundry, homework, food shoping...on and on. There is nothing like having someone who knows how you feel before you say it. Someone you know you can share things with that you do not share with anyone else, with no fear of judgement. I thought it was ok going through life without a BFF...Until I met Nicole..and realized what I have been missing. Thank You Nicole, aka Nikki, Worley, Mrs. Francis, Mommy and definitely my BEST FRIEND FOREVER!
Nicole,
This is a wonderful blog! Keep writing. You may have inspired me to start my own.
Michelina,
You should totally do and so we can follow and inspire each other! It is very therapeutic!
So true! You're never too old for a best friend. Enjoy it... they're even better than husbands in some ways, says the woman who has never been married.
Alicia,
Funny! It's true! I consider my husband my soul mate. He is the one who knows me better than anyone in the world. However, there are just some things that even he would rather I do or discuss with my best friend. He gets it! That is one of the things that makes our marriage so great!
this is my favorite
What a different take on friendship..those 3 letters BFF. You hit a few truths with post. One that stood out is how we need to be faithful and honest with ourselves before we can bring that to friendships with others and call it solid. My girls and I met in daycare as we called it then and XX years later we still get together and celebrate each other but we also keep it real honest even when it can be painful.
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