The Measures of Success

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

When I started losing weight I began a love/hate relationship with my bathroom scale. I would weigh myself in the morning and when it showed I had lost weight I loved it! When it showed I gained even an ounce I hated it! I was convinced that weighing myself everyday was what kept me on top of my eating habits. For example, if I knew I was going to a cookout that day I knew to watch my potato salad intake because my scale will be waiting to punish me in the morning.

This love affair was going good for a while and then it happened! One morning I stepped on the scale and nothing. It just stopped working. No warning, no goodbyes. Just nothing. I was at a loss and felt a sense of betrayal. How would I know how much I could eat today? Did I have to run on the treadmill or could I get away with just a brisk walk?

So after trying every battery in the house and coming to the conclusion that the scale still wasn’t going to work, I realized that I had given too much power to this inanimate object. I had become dependent on numbers and waited for it to validate me by praising me for a job well done. So I made a conscientious decision not to let the scale determine my level of success. Only I know how hard I work at the gym. I know how many times I have said no thank you to that second helping of baked ziti, how many pants sizes I dropped and how good I felt both physically and emotionally! A scale can never measure my level of determination, self-worth and self-esteem.

Now don’t get me wrong, I did get another scale but now we have a different relationship because now I have a LOVE/LOVE relationship with ME!

4 comments:

Tanya Earl said...

I love your blog Nicole! It is so inspiring reading how you went through the journey of loving yourself unconditionally while having fun. When times are tough it's nice to know you can believe in yourself and that can get you through anything!
~Tanya :)

Alicia on January 5, 2011 at 10:38 PM said...

You. Go. Girl. I love this! LOL @ the scale stopped working w/no good-byes.

I can only imagine how hard it is when you've depended on something for feedback, and nothing. Sucks. But then you can learn, as you have, to motivate yourself and give yourself the feedback that you need. Lemme just say it again... You. Go. Girl.

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean about the love/ hate relationship with the scale and the effect such an inanimate object can have on your life. You are such an entertaining writer!
Diane
PS Are those your toes on the scale?

April said...

I love, love, love, your blog. It is so important to have a place where women can express their feelings without regret. Celebrating yourself as a women first is something we often forget to do. Thank you for creating a place that I and hopefully others will be comfortable expressing their feeling about life, love and all the other good stuf..

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