What is your love language?

Monday, February 7, 2011

This past summer I read the book The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. This book discusses how each of us has our own way of expressing and interpreting love and how we are usually attracted to a person that speaks a different love language than us. According to the book there are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward.

2. Quality Time
Nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved.

3. Receiving Gifts
If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.

4. Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.”

5. Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.

After reading the book I was anxious to find out my love language so I took the assessment online www.5lovelanguages.com. It turns out that Words of Affirmation is my language of love. That sounds about right, since I love when my husband tells me he loves me even after all these years it still warms my heart and when he compliments me I still blush like a schoolgirl. I thought it was a good idea for my husband to take the assessment too and (reluctantly), he did. Surprise, surprise his language of love is Physical Touch! Well, I guess that explains a lot!

The important thing is that we both understand each other's love language so he keeps giving me those compliments and I welcomely except his spontaneous bear hugs!

What is your love language? How do you feel and express love?

Unconditionally yours,



Alicia@ Mommy Delicious on February 8, 2011 at 11:25 PM said...

Great review of the book! I think it's extremely important for people to be aware of their love language -- both singles and married folk alike. It definitely helps when dealing with their love interests or loved ones.

adrienne on February 9, 2011 at 8:12 PM said...

I'm mostly "doing thoughtful things" but I do like spending a lot of time with a S/O and finally, I like touch.

Washing the dishes means more to me than any piece of jewelry a guy could buy me.

Anonymous said...

WELL we are friends indeed. I discovered the same book and test through a colleague this fall.We share the same language and my hubby like yours reluctantly took it and yes touch was his too..lol. I also made Jenna take the one for kids and my Nephew the one for teenagers as well as other family members. It is very insightful. My students will take the test on Valentines Day : )

Anonymous said...

I'll have to read the book and take the survey. Right now it sounds like all 5 are important to me!

f08d1726-3555-11e0-85f0-000bcdcb2996 on February 10, 2011 at 3:40 PM said...

I have not read the book, but I just took the test and the result was: Quality Time. This is so true for me. I love that my husband and I spend a lot time together, it makes me feel so loved. It could just be staying home, watching a movie, that time together is priceless. Although we also do things apart, I know that we are eachother's favorite company:)

Nikki on February 10, 2011 at 8:27 PM said...

* Alicia there is an assessment for singles too! Check it out! http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=singles

* Adrienne- washing the dishes can mean a lot!

* Donna- We ARE true friends! I love that you had Jenna take the test for kids! I am going to have Cee take the one for teenagers.

* Karitsa - Quality times means a lot to me too! Even though our lives can get so busy it's important for couples to find time to spend together!

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