Monday, June 27, 2011

Recently I was speaking to a young woman half my age who was complaining about how hard her life is. Holding back tears she complained that she can't find a good job, was not happy in her living situation and her life is just not where she wants it to be. As I sat and listened, I began to compare her life to mine when I was her age. I also had some of the same issues except I was a mother and I didn't just have myself to take care of, therefore I never had time for pity parties. So I patiently waited for her to finish her two-person pity party and then I repeated a quote I heard Pastor T.D. Jakes say recently:
"Don't write a book about it, because no one will read it."
In other words we all know life can be hard. The question is what steps are you taking to make it a little easier? I know this sounds like harsh advice but I believe in a little tough love. The truth is if you are not satisfied with where you are in your life then get up and do something about it. Only you are in charge of your life and there comes a time when you just have to get in survival mode! Now don't get me wrong there is no harm in throwing an occasional pity party if that is what temporarily makes you feel better but after the party is done get up, get your tail in gear and start moving toward changing your situation.

First thing you need to do is prioritize your goals. What is the most important thing that needs changing in your life? Then find a way to achieve those goals and make that change! At work we use S.M.A.R.T goals for determining how our students are achieving success. S.M.A.R.T goals stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. Why not set some S.M.A.R.T goals for you life?

Specific = Set specific concrete goals for your life. It's not enough to say I want to change careers. Figure out what career you really want, find out the steps you need to take to work toward achieving that goal and start at step one.

Measurable = Your goals need to measurable. You need to have a clear objective. How are you going to track your progress to make sure you are staying on track? For example, if your goal is to lose weight then a measurable goal could be losing 10 pounds in 3 months.

= Make sure the goals you set for yourself can be achieved. It's good to set high goals for yourself but make sure you have to resources and/or requirements to attain the goals. You can't just say I want to get a job paying six-figures when you don't have the qualifications. First, get the qualifications and then make a six-figure salary your goal.

Realistic = Your goals need to be realistic. In other words in order for you to reach your goal you have to believe in yourself enough to know you can achieve it or else your goal is just a dream.

Timely = Set a time frame for setting your goal. Stop saying someday and actually set a real day, month or year for accomplishing your goal. This will help you to remember that things don't just happen overnight but it's a process that you are working toward.

I know that all of this seems easier said then done but it can be done. One thing I know about us women is that when we set our minds to accomplishing something there is no stopping us. We don't have to stay in any situation that we don't want to be in. The truth is sometimes all we need is a gentle push in the right direction.

So here you go...........*push*


Alicia@ Mommy Delicious on July 5, 2011 at 2:02 PM said...

Amen! Push harder and stronger until you get there. I love that line, "don't write a book about it because no one will read it." Not harsh at all. Plus, when something stings, it usually means it's something worth examining.

Pity parties can be great therapy because misery loves company. But not that much. Solutions are even better. And they work wonders.

Cam on July 5, 2011 at 3:31 PM said...

it may not have been what she wanted to hear but it was probably what she needed to hear.

ModernMom on July 5, 2011 at 8:17 PM said...

Oh such solid advice! Sometimes when you are young it is really hard to just set one goal at a time and to know that one little set back is not the end of your dreams!

ModernMom on July 5, 2011 at 8:18 PM said...

PS Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog, I'm your newest folower:)

Lifewithpurpose on July 6, 2011 at 7:28 PM said...

I Love this. I have been there and done that. I might've wrote a book about it...You are so correct only you can control your future, well God too. I was a single parent had some pity parties too many. And no one to tell me like you told her. I just thought today when you start on a path to meet a goal you will clear your vision until all you see is that goal.

Kerissa on July 26, 2011 at 2:41 AM said...

Nope not harsh. My life changed after a good friend asked me to stop calling her complaining about the shambles my life was in after things didn't work out with my son's father. She's heared it all before. That was almost 8 years ago. I'm now living S.M.A.R.T.

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