Let's say you meet you a man who has almost all the qualities that you desire. However, you like him so much you are willing to overlook a small minor flaw in his character or a habit that you are not fond of. What happens when you can't ignore those qualities anymore? Should you attempt to (dare I say)....try to change them?
Now trying to change anyone can be a difficult task....trying to change a man is almost impossible. One thing that I have learned is that most men don't respond to subtle hints they need to be told exactly what is on our mind. If when you meet your husband and he wasn't a "romantic take you to dinner and give you flowers kind of guy" chances are he is not going to turn into one over the years. However, if that is something you need now in your relationship there is nothing wrong with telling him.
No matter how long you are in a relationship you should never take for granted that he knows how you feel or what you need. You see I think that since men don't hesitate to say what they want or how they feel they assume we do the same and the truth is most of us don't. Why not? Well, for me sometimes I want him to figure it out on his own but unfortunately it doesn't always work that way so then I just have to say it and he respects that.
Now there are certain things about our men that although we may not love we would never change because it makes them who they are. We all have flaws. I know I have a few that my husband has graciously learned to accept or ignore. Loving him "As Is" doesn't mean we shouldn't speak up when our needs are not being met or when we are unhappy about something in our relationship. It means we love our men enough to tell them how we feel in hopes that they love us enough to listen and and try to change on their own.
2 comments:
My husband and I have certainly learned to love each other 'As Is.' It's been a challenge but here we are six years later and I think that we've finally gotten the hang of it. We've also learned how to better voice our needs to each other. I think that change is possible. I've certainly made some voluntary changes and so has he.
I'm working on understanding them and this post helped. I've yet to master the As Is. Not sure my I'm clinging to the idea of perfection when I have a list of flaws...sighs..back to the throne room I go :)
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