What's on Your Checklist?

Most of us have a checklist with the things we want to accomplish for the New Year and usually that list includes a new and improved weight loss regimen. However, I came across a list that includes some items that many of us may not think about putting on our list. (I love #36) Enjoy and Happy New Year!

In 2012, I believe all women should have or work toward having:

1. Peace of mind and if possible a piece of property.

2. A will.

3. Willpower.

4. A savings account in your own name.

5. A mammogram.

6. A manicure (not to mention a pedicure, a facial and a massage--all on the same day).

7. A set of matching luggage.

8. A ticket to some exotic place to unpack it.

9. A great hairdresser, manicurist and gynecologist.

10. A passionate, fiery, unforgettable love affair.

11. A little black dress that makes you look five pounds thinner.

12. A sense of humor, style and purpose.

13. A selfish streak.

14. A spiritual foundation that gets you through a very bad night without going crazy.

15. A facial foundation that gets you through a very long day without going ashy.

16. A good bra.

17. A good spa.

18. A library card (used often).

19. A credit card (used sparingly).

20. At least one person in your life who says: "You call, I come."

21. Good body language (multilingual!).

22. A broken heart and the knowledge you can survive it.

23. A cause (domestic violence, infant mortality, save the whales--your choice).

24. A personal relationship with God.

25. A personal trainer.

26. Selective amnesia ("What Saturday morning meeting?").

27. Gall.

28. A good skin-care regimen.

29. The ability to converse on any subject without benefit of concrete knowledge or access to facts.

30. A shocking secret.

31. A pair of silk pajamas.

32. A lifetime membership in at least one organization that uplifts women.

33. The phone number of someone who is good with their hands.

34. At least one drop-dead, don't-speak-to-me-because-you-know-you-don't-know-me gorgeous photo of yourself.

35. A friendship that has stood the test of time.

36. One last chance to tell the guy you were crazy about in your 20s who treated you like cigarette ashes on the floor what you were too dumb to know when he walked out with your heart in his hands: "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

37. A soul mate.

38. Faith, hope and a good fantasy.

39. A dream.

40. A plan to make it come true.

Parts of list taken from 1997 Ebony Magazine Johnson Publishing Co.

All I Want for Christmas.....

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is to:

~wake up next to the man I love.

~make a big Christmas breakfast for my family.

~watch my 14 year old open her gifts with the same excitement as she did when she was 5.

~wait for my hubby to pretend he didn't buy me anything and then "surprise" me at the last minute.

~get dressed up in my Christmas best and visit with family.

~eat, drink and be merry!

~never forever the reason for the season!

(oh yeah and an iPad!)

Merry Christmas my blogfriends!

Learning to Practice What I Preach

Remember in October when I posted Taking Care of the Girls? Well, after I had my yearly mammogram I received a phone call less than an hour later telling me that I needed to come back and retest one of my breasts because they saw "something". Something like what?, I asked the nurse. "A dense area that wasn't there last year", she replied. "It could be breast tissue but we just want to be sure", she added. Immediately panic set in. I could feel my heart racing. Then she said, "the next available appointment isn't until the 14th @1:30. Oh, that is 2 weeks away! I thought to myself. If they thought it was an emergency they would have made the appointment sooner. Right?

I called my hubby right after I hung up and he told me not to worry and reassured me that everything was going to be okay and maybe I should ask for an earlier appointment. But I didn't want an earlier appointment. Everything was going to be okay. Right?

Then I spoke to my bff who told me that same thing had happened to her a few years ago and it turned out to be nothing. Okay. Maybe I am panicking for nothing.

Then I spoke to another woman who said sometimes she thinks they call you back just for the insurance to pay for another mammogram. Really? I would hate to think that was true but it could be. Right?

By the time the week of the appointment came around I had completely talked myself out of going. I convinced myself that it was nothing to worry about and that I would eventually reschedule the appointment for a time that was more convenient for me. Sounds crazy I know.

So the morning of the appointment I got dressed for work and decided that I would call the office and cancel the appointment when I got in. However, on my way to work my hubby sent me a text and it read, "Are you taking a half-day?" I couldn't believe it... he never remembers ANYTHING. He didn't mentioned the appointment last night so I figured he'd forgotten the date. I innocently replied.."No. I am going to reschedule for another day so I don't have to take time from work." Before I even hit send I knew that was the most ridiculous excuse I had ever heard. I have taken days off to do nothing important and now all of a sudden I am Miss Workaholic! The truth is I was scared. Scared of possibly getting bad news. Scared of hearing that maybe everything WASN'T going to be alright.

Then the phone rang and before I could say hello I heard my hubby sternly yet lovingly say, "you have to go TODAY, I'll leave early and come with you if you want me to". "No, I will be fine". I said.

I knew he was right, I had to go.

And I did.

Before I walked into the doctor's office I sat in the parking lot and prayed through tears. The nurse showed me the x-ray and pointed out the small nodule-like image that was causing concern. Then she proceeded to take four quick and very uncomfortable pictures. While I sat in the waiting room while she took the pictures to the doctor to review I flipped through at least 2 People Magazines trying to think positive thoughts. About 10 minutes later I could hear her footsteps walking back to the waiting room. She walked in and sat down. "Good news," she said. "Your breast is healthy. The image was breast tissue that overlapped when the first mammogram was done. This happens sometimes....but we have to retake to be sure." And all I could say was, "Thank you Lord!"

As I drove home I thought about how this whole story could have ended differently but thankfully it didn't. I thought about how I almost didn't go and take care of myself because I was afraid. How ironic is it that I am always telling other women they have to put themselves first and there I was ignoring my health because of fear. Not really practicing loving myself unconditionally, huh? I guess sometimes it's not that easy to practice what you preach. But I am going to work on that.

I thank God for my hubby who gave me some tough love on the phone that day I think that is what I needed. Mostly, I thank God for hearing my cry and for always loving me unconditionally even when I am not loving myself.

#dontjudgeme

One morning I stopped at Dunkin Donuts to get a very much needed latte. The woman in front of me ordered a coffee and then decided to also get a bow-tie doughnut. After she placed her order she turned to me, shrugged her shoulders and said..."sometimes we just have to treat ourselves, right?"

"Totally!", I replied.

As I drove to work I thought about her comment. I couldn't help thinking that she really didn't believe it. It was almost as if she felt guilty for having a doughnut and thought that I might have been judging her decision to indulge. But really who am I to judge? I think that we ALL do need to treat ourselves sometimes!

I know I do!

So please don't judge me if I:

~take a day off just to stay home and watch Lifetime Movies in my pj's all day! (I call it a mental health day)

~buy myself something that I really want for a change before I buy my daughters something they really want. (rarely happens but when it does I will not feel guilty!)

~get gel manicures every two to three weeks....religiously! (my nail lady gives the best shoulder massages while my nails are drying)

~wake up early on Saturday morning just to watch my shows on the DVR alone without anyone constantly reminding me that I can fast forward through the commercials! (ever think that maybe I want to watch the commercials?)

~have a glass of wine (or two) with my dinner on a week night.

~get excited when I am home alone. (I love my family but there is something about spending time with yourself that can definitely feel like a special treat!)

~order the Taco Nachos appetizer to share but secretly hope to eat it all by myself. (and I usually do!)

So ladies go ahead and have that bow-tie doughnut, pour that Wednesday night glass of wine or buy yourself something that you really want for a change. I won't judge you! We should treat ourselves whenever and however we want! Why not? Don't we all deserve it?