Re-evaluating Family Relationships

Family *sigh* 
These relationships need to be given check-ups very often in order to keep them off of life support. Communication is the best way to keep these relationships healthy. I have found that when we don't communicate with family too many things are left unsaid...and that my friends....almost always leads to assumptions.

If you are fortunate enough to be part of a supportive close-knit family where there is communication, respect and an abundance of unconditional love then that is wonderful! I admire those kinds of healthy family relationships!

However, if you have reflected on the relationships in your family and you can name a few people that have caused you hurt or just continue to suck the joy out of your life....then this is unhealthy!  Usually, when there is a conflict within a family it is because someone doesn't agree with a choice the other person made, there is hidden jealousy or resentment or both parties are waiting for the other person to admit and apologize for something they did.

So how can we fix these relationships?

Communicate, communicate, communicate- IF the relationship is important to you then you need to be the bigger person and open up the lines of communication. If you do that and the person doesn't return the effort then at least you tried.

Respect- You may not agree with the decisions they made in their lives but you have to respect them because well .....it is their life. In other words...agree to disagree and live your life not theirs!

Let it Go- I must admit this is a tough one for me. But it order for us to move on in life we need to let go of some of the baggage. So if you can't communicate and you can't get the respect you think you deserve from them then have a little talk with yourself and decide once and for all to let it go! 

I am no expert but one thing I do know for sure is most of us really want to be close to our families. However, I believe that certain behaviors should not be accepted from anyone...not even family.  Many of us tolerate these behaviors from family members out of a sense of loyalty, obligation and guilt.  We need to ask ourselves is the type of family relationship that we really want? If not, is it worth trying to fix?

Lastly, we all have to come to the realization that not all families are perfect! I read once the difference between relatives and family and I never forgot it.

• Family are those people we have a true bond with by choice not circumstance. We can't wait to spend time with simply because we choose to.

•  Relatives are those people we are connected to by blood or law and associate with them simply because we have to.