Relationship Check-Up- Colleagues

Thursday, May 3, 2012

From work relationships to marriages sometimes it is necessary to give our relationships a "check-up" to see how healthy they really are. In all relationships we want to make sure that the parties involved are getting everything they need out of it. Sometimes we are in relationships that start off very healthy but for some reason they begin to slowly deteriorate without us even realizing it. These relationships might need a check-up to see if they can be brought back to life or maybe we just need to "pull the plug" on them.

A true sign of a healthy relationship is when it brings  more happiness than stress in your life. Every relationship that we are in will require some work on all ends in order to keep it healthy and thriving...but it shouldn't cause us stress. Constant stress in a relationship is a good sign that it is time to re-evaluate it. quickly. The next few posts will focus on some of the relationships in our lives and ways we can try to keep them healthy.

Work relationships
These are always tricky. For the most part work relationships are just temporary situations, you may feel a connection with your colleague during the time you are working together but as soon as the jobs ends..... so does the connection.  However, there are times when these relationships do morph into real friendships and that's fine too!  The way I check to make sure my work relationships stay healthy is to recognize the difference between my friends and my colleagues. Doing this has allowed me to have meaningful and respectful relationships with colleagues and also make a few really good friends. Because let's be real ladies...not every colleague was meant to be a friend and when we make the mistake of trying to turn a relationship that was meant to stay at work into a bona fide friendship it can lead to a stressful situation in both your work and personal life. 

So here are three simple check-up questions to ask yourself to make sure your work relationships are healthy.

1. If we no longer worked together would we still be friends?

2. Do I have much more in common with this person then the fact that we choose the same careers?

3. Can I share personal things with this person and still feel comfortable working with them on a daily basis?

If you answered "yes" to these 3 questions then you may have a real friendship. This means you feel comfortable discussing more than just work with this person and that the feeling is mutual.  It also means that at your next Girl's Night Out when you might have had one too many and did that thing that might be frowned upon by your colleagues... you are confident that it will not be the next topic of discussion at the water cooler Monday morning. 

If you answered "no" to these 3 questions then maybe you should keep that work relationship friendly yet professional. Enjoy daily casual and professional conversation that is respectful, comfortable  and not too deep. Of course you can still go out for after work cocktails in my opinion that's always acceptable but just know when to say "when" and keep the tequila shots to your next Girl's Night Out! 

*Next Post*- Relationship Check-up- Family Members


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