The Next Chapter

"We all have blank pages to fill with spectacular things!" This was the new year's message that my girlfriend sent me after the ball dropped. What powerful, truthful words! We should all approach each new year as the next chapter in our lives ready to be filled with spectacular and exciting experiences!

As I reflect over the past year I know I filled my pages with many first time experiences. I stepped out of my comfort zone in ways I never imagined. In 2012, I was faced with situations and decisions which tested my limits and capabilities....and I passed them all!

I am expecting the blank pages in my 2013 chapter to be filled with many spectcular things! It will be epic!! How will you fill your blank pages???

Happy New Year Friends!!

Nikki

A California Sweet Sixteen Celebration!

Since my daughter was a baby I have been planning her sweet sixteen! It was going to be a winter wonderland theme with pink and white snowflake decorations...the works! So you can imagine my surprise when she informed us last year that instead of a party she would like to go to California to celebrate her 16th birthday! So I ditched the winter wonderland theme and started planning our California Sweet Sixteen Celebration!

When we got to our Hollywood Hotel room she was greeted with gift of chocolates and a birthday card signed by the staff! We were all pleasantly surprised!

One LA landmark my daughter always wanted to see was the Hollywood sign so she was thrilled that it was in clear view from our from our hotel room window.



In the seven amazing days that we spent in LA we traveled in style, hung out with a few "stars", and ate ...A LOT!

We window shopped on Rodeo Drive, went on a tour of Hollywood Star homes, toured the Warner Brothers studio and drove down the pacific coast highway!

We were so glad that we were able to give our daughter this birthday gift. She has been such a blessing to us these past 16 years! Thank you Hollywood California for helping our Star celebrate her birthday in style!

What you see is what you get.....

Have you ever had one of those days that you  just say to yourself...can this day get any worse and then it does? Well, yesterday, I had one of those days. To be honest, lately I have been having a few of those days but yesterday was the day that I realized the reason I was feeling this way was not because of one event but a series of small, annoying and very frustrating ones. So, I took some time alone to really think about what was causing me to feel this way and to see if I needed to change my approach or reaction to these events. However, after doing some real soul searching I came to the conclusion that the only thing I need to change is me thinking that I need to change and that maybe others need to finally learn to accept me as I am....flaws and all!

I won't bore you all with the details of my intense soul searching but what I will share are  3 of my conclusions:

1. No matter how much I try someone will always find fault in my efforts. I am learning to be okay with that because I am not changing! The truth is I can't please everyone but that will not stop me from speaking my mind, doing my absolute best and standing up for what I believe in even if it makes me seem "too nice" - remember that even the nicest people have their limits.....which brings me to #2.

2. People should really learn not to take my kindness for weakness. Seriously, I feel like I have been dealing with issue all my life. Growing up  I was called the "goody, goody girl". Hey, there are worst things to be called! But just because it is my nature to be kind, caring and not a big fan of unnecessary aggressive behavior that by no means makes me weak. When necessary or pushed I am as strong a fighter as the people who may think their confrontational behavior can intimate or change my opinion. Just because your voice is louder than mine doesn't make you right. My opinion is MY opinion and no matter how many times you state yours or in what tone you state it in....I am entitled to my opinion and you will not change it. Period.

3. Last but not least...I am a good person. No, let me change that.... I am an amazing person!!!  I try my best in everything I do, I am a giving person and I have a good heart. I love the woman that I am and what I believe in. I love that my values are ones that I can be proud to teach and hopefully pass on to my daughters. I love that I can still learn in every situation that I encounter good and bad. I love that I can still find the good in people when there is good to be found. 
I love me!  period.
With me what you see, is what you get. Flaws and all.
And if you find fault in my opinion of me...that's YOUR opinion..and we are ALL entitled to our opinions.

 

Let's Talk!

"If I can teach my daughter one thing, it will be the love of self unconditionally!"
 ~ Asa Brown.

Last weekend, Dove celebrated its third annual Self-Esteem Weekend, a nationwide effort to help young women develop a positive relationship with beauty. If you know me then you know that inspiring girls to love themselves unconditionally is one of my greatest passions so, of course, it was only natural that I took part in this year's celebration.

As a mother of two daughters I know the importance of teaching girls how to love themselves unconditionally. Did you know that 7 out of 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, their performance in school or their relationships with their families and friends? When I read this statistic it made me wonder just when do our girls lose their self-confidence? When do they go from little girls who do not have a care in the world filled with confidence and self-esteem to girls who are filled with self-doubt who do not love what they see when they look in the mirror? According to The National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, the self-esteem tipping point happens during the transition to teenage years. These years are the most crucial for girls; this is when they stop communication with us - the adults in their lives.

Let’s Talk” was the theme of this year’s Dove® Self-Esteem because you can help a girl develop a healthy self-image of themselves simply by having conversation.  These conversations can be in the car while you are running errands, while you are cooking dinner or watching TV together. You may not realize that each of these are special bonding moments and can inspire a girl in your life to reach her full potential. I started a conversation with my daughter while eating our weekly Friday night Chinese food take-out. I simply began by asking her "what qualities make you unique?" That one question began an easy and honest conversation. It was that simple.

So how do you begin to talk to the girl in your life about beauty, confidence and self-esteem? Here are some steps from the Dove website to help you bring your conversation:

1. Ask- The first step is to just ask a girl in your life about her relationship with beauty - don’t simply assume you know or understand because you have experienced it too.

2. Share- Rather than give her advice or tell her what to do - pick up on her answers and share some of your own experiences. 

3. Listen -Allow yourself to take in her responses to what you shared. See what else your comments may bring up for her.

4. Act- Follow your conversations with some actions.

Visit the Dove website for more tips on how to start the self-esteem conversation with a girl in your life.  http://www.dove.us/social-mission/

Making Memories!

The older I get the more I LOVE TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY! I mean...yeah the gray hairs are making an appearance ...and if I want to hang out later than midnight I have to take an afternoon nap but other than that I am confident and secure about being in my very early forties!

This year I decided to celebrate my birthday by throwing a food and wine event at one of my favorite places...... the local winery in our area. So I invited some close friends  to help me celebrate another year and I must say it was one of my best birthdays by far.

Let's face it these days most birthday wishes come in the form of an impersonal text or Facebook post and I am guilty of sending a few of those myself. But I have to say nothing replaces getting together and sharing good drinks, food and company while making some awesome memories. Receiving real hugs and kisses while hearing real laughter can not and should not be replaced with emoticons! We should grab every opportunity to make good memories, not the ones that get deleted but the ones that stay with us forever.

So I don't know about you.... but I am going to continue to plan and attend as many formal and informal get togethers with the people that are closest to me and I really don't need a reason on the calendar.

Memory making is enough of a reason! 

Cheers!
 

What this summer taught me

Tuesday will be the end of my summer vacation as I go back to work after 2 months of freedom from routines, schedules and lesson plans. This summer has been exactly what I needed after a very challenging school year, it was the perfect combination of relaxation and recreation.  

As a teacher, I am a true believer that we should always be exploring new experiences to stimulate our personal growth. So I allowed the summer to be my teacher and let it use my own experiences to educate me. I won't bore you with the actual situations, observations and conversations that lead me to my summer education but what I will give you are the outcomes.

1.  My resilience is what helps me to embrace all that I am grateful for in my life; even when I am faced with the most stressful situations.

2. My determination drives my success.

3. Afternoon naps aren't just for growing children they are also good for women in their 40s.  

4. The lessons that I have learned from my failures are proof that I haven't completely failed!

5. I will never be too old to look or at least feel sexy!

6. Fear can be my enemy or it can be the motivating force that makes me an unstoppable being! 

7. The best way for me to be a motivation to others is to lead by example.

8. I am a stronger and more flexible than I look. (Thank you Pilates Classes)

9. Whenever self-doubt creeps in I can always count on my hubby's reality check pep talks to put me back of the road to keeping it all in perspective!

10. I have an addiction to handbags and I am finally embracing it.

11. It's not just a saying ....the best things in life ARE truly free.

12. Listen more. Talk Less. Not everyone wants or needs my advice.

13. Freezing fruit to make breakfast smoothies are not only yummy they are a good way to maintain a healthy diet.

14. Making others happy makes me just as happy as they are.

15. I have a new addiction to wedge heels and I am starting to embrace it. 

16. I have a serious problem with telling others ...NO! But I am working on that.

17. My vision, passion or dream doesn't need the approval of others so I will stop seeking it.

18. My bedtime is really 10:00PM and I need to stop fighting it especially when I can never sleep past 6:30AM. 

19. As much as I try to fight against it...it's time for me to embrace that it is my "job" to keep everyone on time in my house or else we would be late to EVERYTHING.

20. Sometimes a glass (or two) of wine can make it all better. Trust!

Are you proud of yourself??

We all love to hear someone say the words "I am SO proud of you!" But it's an even better feeling for you to say those words to yourself. Think about it...when was the last time you felt super proud of yourself?

A few years ago I decided that it was time for me to focus on living my life in a way so that I could love myself...inside and out. So I re-evaluated the decisions I was making that directly impacted my social, emotional and physical being. I started by taking a good look at who I surrounded myself with, adopted a healthier lifestyle and doing my absolute best to try to live my life on purpose. 

I am still a work in progress but I can honestly say that these days I am super proud of me!  This summer I started taking more difficult, challenging classes at the gym.  At first, I was a bit intimated by the more fit, flexible women in these classes and then became even more intimated when I realized that some of these women were old enough to be my mother! But I am determined and every time that I complete one of these torture classes I feel such a sense of accomplishment! It is a amazing feeling to be proud of yourself!

So know it's time for a little honesty ....how proud of yourself are you right now at this very moment? Are you proud of the decisions you make on a day to day basis. Are you doing all that is in your power to be happy, healthy and fabulous?  Are you proud of the people you call friends are they lifting you up or pulling you down? Are you proud of the way you look and feel no matter what shape or size? Are you proud of the relationship that you are in, is it a healthy one? Are you proud of where you are in this season of your life, is this where you want to be?

If you answered no to any of these questions maybe it's time for you to re-evaluate your life. Trust me this will take some serious soul-searching and complete honesty with yourself. It may even mean you will have to get rid of some thinking, some things or (dare I say?) some people that you have been holding on to.

So where do you begin? I say just start with one small attainable goal but I have to warn you once.... you accomplish one proud moment for yourself the feeling will become addictive and you may not be able to stop!!

So think of one thing that you can change in your life that may make YOU proud of YOU. It may be enrolling for a class you wanted to take, joining the gym, or just telling that friend/lover/family member what is really in your heart....finally! Even though that may seem easier said than done believe me those obstacles may be just what is holding you back from experiencing some incredible proud moments for yourself!