How do you define yourself?

Let's face it...some of us define who we are by our relationships, children or jobs because it gives us a sense of validation. Although, I love being a wife, mommy and educator if you unravel all the layers of me you will find that I can not be defined by one title, one role, one word....I am complex.

Ultimately, what really defines who we are is the way we feel about ourselves. Our self-concept is the most important opinion. Some days I feel like a success, others a failure because there is still so much more that I want to do with my life and haven't.....yet. I also tend to dwell on decisions I made in the past and often wonder did if I made the best choices. It is so true when they say that we are our own worst critic.

The truth is my visible roles do not who I am. It's the woman that I am when I am alone with God that defines the real me. This is where I am truly at my best. This is where I am the most happiest. This is where I learn to rejoice both my successes and failures because there are lessons to be learned in both. This is where I learn to forgive myself and let go of my past. This is where I learn to love myself unconditionally just as He loves me. So how do I define myself.....I am a child of God.

How do you define yourself?

Endless Possibilities

"The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn". Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is full of endless possibilities, isn't it?

This past weekend my daughter and I were having a talk about the career choices that she might be interested in pursuing. She is a sophomore in high school and still very undecided but that is perfectly normal. After listening to her list of choices (and they all were really good choices) I started thinking about how great it is that she has the ability and so many opportunities to be anything she wants to be. The world as they say....is her oyster!

One of the reasons we moved our family from the city to the suburbs was to give our girls more opportunities to achieve their dreams. Not that I have anything against raising children in the city....many a rose have grown out of concrete! Hey, I am a rose that was grown out of concrete!!! But we wanted to give them as many options as we could. Although she is still young I am so grateful that she is taking advantage of all life has to offer she is excelling both academically and socially. Exactly what we prayed for.

Even at my age it still excites me to know that there is always more to learn, achieve and conquer. I am more motivated and empowered at this time of my life than I have ever been and after reading some of your New Year's Resolutions posts I know many of you are also feeling this way. So whether it's going back to school, starting your own business, changing careers or expanding your side hustle just remember that the opportunities are endless and I am rooting for your success!

Push

Recently I was speaking to a young woman half my age who was complaining about how hard her life is. Holding back tears she complained that she can't find a good job, was not happy in her living situation and her life is just not where she wants it to be. As I sat and listened, I began to compare her life to mine when I was her age. I also had some of the same issues except I was a mother and I didn't just have myself to take care of, therefore I never had time for pity parties. So I patiently waited for her to finish her two-person pity party and then I repeated a quote I heard Pastor T.D. Jakes say recently:

"Don't write a book about it, because no one will read it."

In other words we all know life can be hard. The question is what steps are you taking to make it a little easier? I know this sounds like harsh advice but I believe in a little tough love. The truth is if you are not satisfied with where you are in your life then get up and do something about it. Only you are in charge of your life and there comes a time when you just have to get in survival mode! Now don't get me wrong there is no harm in throwing an occasional pity party if that is what temporarily makes you feel better but after the party is done get up, get your tail in gear and start moving toward changing your situation.

First thing you need to do is prioritize your goals. What is the most important thing that needs changing in your life? Then find a way to achieve those goals and make that change! At work we use S.M.A.R.T goals for determining how our students are achieving success. S.M.A.R.T goals stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. Why not set some S.M.A.R.T goals for you life?

Specific = Set specific concrete goals for your life. It's not enough to say I want to change careers. Figure out what career you really want, find out the steps you need to take to work toward achieving that goal and start at step one.

Measurable = Your goals need to measurable. You need to have a clear objective. How are you going to track your progress to make sure you are staying on track? For example, if your goal is to lose weight then a measurable goal could be losing 10 pounds in 3 months.

Attainable = Make sure the goals you set for yourself can be achieved. It's good to set high goals for yourself but make sure you have to resources and/or requirements to attain the goals. You can't just say I want to get a job paying six-figures when you don't have the qualifications. First, get the qualifications and then make a six-figure salary your goal.

Realistic = Your goals need to be realistic. In other words in order for you to reach your goal you have to believe in yourself enough to know you can achieve it or else your goal is just a dream.

Timely = Set a time frame for setting your goal. Stop saying someday and actually set a real day, month or year for accomplishing your goal. This will help you to remember that things don't just happen overnight but it's a process that you are working toward.

I know that all of this seems easier said then done but it can be done. One thing I know about us women is that when we set our minds to accomplishing something there is no stopping us. We don't have to stay in any situation that we don't want to be in. The truth is sometimes all we need is a gentle push in the right direction.

So here you go...........*push*