Sweating the Small Stuff

Every year for lent my family gives up something that would be hard for us to live without or something that is difficult for us to stop doing. Usually, I give up some type of food but this year I am giving up STRESS! Yes, you heard me………S.T.R.E.S.S. You see, I have a little problem; I tend to let the smallest things stress me out beyond belief! I really try not to allow stress into my life but it has a way of creeping into my self-consciousness and before I know it 4:40AM and I am laying in bed staring at the ceiling wondering and worrying about things that I usually have no control over! It’s insane!

So for 40 days I will not sweat the small stuff and eliminate unhealthy stress from my life! How will I do this you ask? Well, first I had to identify some of the sources of my stress. I tend to worry about:
1. work
2. family
3. household responsibilities
4. inability to accept uncertainty
5. Unrealistic expectations
6. Perfectionism

Then I came up with a plan to deal with stress when it does rear its ugly head.
1. take a long hot bubble bath
2. call my bff for some fun "girl talk"
3. schedule a massage
4. get a pedicure
5. play "Just Dance" and break out in my best "uh oh" Beyonce booty shake dance!
6. Give myself a reality check because I have no real reason to be stressed because really my life is pretty darn good!

I would love to hear some ways you deal with stress! I could use all the help I can get!

Today she's 21!

21 years ago today at exactly 10:11PM I became a mother for the very first time. At 20 years young I brought my oldest daughter into the world with no meds and a whole lot of awkward and uncontrolled pushing. She came into this world kicking and screaming! Now that I think about it since birth she has wanted to be the center of attention!

As a young mother she and I had to grow up together. Although she learned from me, having her taught me so much. For example, as I was potty training her she was teaching me how to be patient and when I had to pass on those after work parties she taught me about responsibility. When I had to make difficult decisions on her behalf she taught me to be an advocate. Oh yeah and the time she took a whole jar of Vaseline and covered herself in it from head to toe then rolled around on the brand new light blue sofa and then proceeded to watch TV like nothing...yeah that time she taught me about tolerance!

It is so true that motherhood does not come with a manual and I am a perfect example because honestly, at some points through those teenage years I felt like a complete failure as a mother. But I am thankful for each and every one of those 21 years, the happy times and the not so happy times that have made us both grow into the women we are today. You see she and I have a special connection, we have a type of unconditional love that only a mother and daughter can share!

So today my little girl is 21! I know for her this probably means that now she could have her first drink (yeah, who I am kidding) and go to a 21 and over club. But to me it’s bittersweet…it means that my baby is no longer a baby but I know that we will continue to learn from each other for many years to come!

Happy Birthday Beautiful!

Stay tuned next week for......The Celebration!

And the winner is......................

Drum roll please!
Shel
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Thank you for all for participating in my first giveaway!

Phenomenal Woman, Karitsa!

My name is Karitsa, my nickname is Kary (pronounced in Spanish, Kah-dee).
I am one of three children and a middle child. My family is my world. I am a Jersey girl, born and raised by the shore, now living in South Jersey. I have been teaching for ten years. I decided to become an educator because I love children and I love learning! I am a wife and a stepmom to a six year old little boy. I am many things, but my proudest role has been a recent one, I am a new mommy.

My daughter is three months young and my greatest love. She came during the most difficult time in my life. When I was seven months pregnant, I lost my father. It was and still is the most painful experience of my life. I was a daddy’s girl. My mother always accused me of loving him more than I love her. That is not true, there’s just something really special between a father and his daughter/s. I thought I wouldn’t be able to withstand the pain of losing him. It was almost unbearable.

My father had been sick for many years. I was blessed to have him walk me down the aisle. I cried our whole father daughter dance because I was so thankful that God had answered my prayer of him being there on my big day. When I found out that I was pregnant, I knelt down and asked God to please let my father see my baby, his first grandchild. All I needed was two more months for that second prayer to come true.

My daughter has helped me cope with my loss. She has brought me happiness in the midst of my pain. When she smiles at me, my whole world feels right. I love just walking past her and seeing how excited she gets to see me. I love her so much. I realize that’s how my dad must’ve felt about me.

I was scheduled to go back to work at the end of this month. However, I have decided to stay home with my daughter until the following school year. It is something I debated since I brought her home because I knew that it will require us to make adjustments to our lifestyle. However, if anything is worth the sacrifice, it is this. I will never get this time back with my daughter. She will only be this little for a short time. If I have learned anything from losing my father, it is that the time you have with your loved ones is precious and truly a gift. Once that time is gone, it’s gone forever. So I stepped out in faith, and wrote a letter to my school district that I will see them… in September! Every time my baby does something new or I see how she’s growing, I know this was the best decision that I have ever made.

One reason that I decided to start this blog was for women to celebrate how fabulous we are and for us to inspire one other. Karitsa continues to inspire me in many ways! From her unconditional love for her family and amazing faith to her recent decision to be a (temporary) SAHM! It is my hope that her story is an inspiration to others too!

Who am I?

I Am…………
A daughter, a wife, a mother, a friend
A believer that prayer changes everything
An educator, an advocate, a student, a leader
A NYC girl turned NJ suburban woman
Mature, accomplished, youthful, a work in progress
Loving, caring, thoughtful, sympathetic
Strong and powerful, weak and vulnerable
A dreamer, a hopeless romantic, passionate
Perfect, flawed, complicated, simple
Admiring what I see when I look in the mirror these days
Unconditionally loving the fabulous woman I have become

All this and much more……

Who are you?

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Sometimes I am just like my mother. Although I never thought I would ever hear myself say that. When I was a teenager I promised myself I would never be like my mother! I thought she was overprotective, unreasonable and just didn’t understand me! So in order to show her that I was grown I moved out at 19 to “live my own life”. And boy did I show her I was back home in 5 months!

Looking back now I often ask myself was my mother that unreasonable? I mean she let me come back home although I had hurt her so much by leaving. Was she too protective or was she just trying to protect me from the very thing that ended up happening? Did she really not understand me or did she understand me all too well, which is why she often knew my next move before I did?

Now that I have 2 daughters I find myself struggling with the same questions that my mother must have. How do I protect my daughters without being overprotective? How do I make difficult decisions that are in their best interest without seeming too unreasonable? How do I get them to realize that I do understand what they are feeling because I went through the same things not that long along? (I mean I am only 41 for goodness sake!)

This past November my mother turned the beautiful age of 70 and we surprised her with a tribute to her life presented by all 5 grandchildren. As she sat there with tears of happiness in her eyes I began to realize that I am just like my mother. I am doing the best that I can for my children and if that means that sometimes they think that I am overprotective, unreasonable and not understanding that’s okay because it is done out of love. I only hope that one day they too can say sometimes I am just like my mother.

Living My Life on Purpose!

I recently realized that I am in constant competition with myself. When I finished grad school I was so relieved not only to have my masters in education but also to finally have some free time. But then I had that feeling again…that feeling of what else should I be doing? So I joined a committee at work so that I can help create professional development goals for teachers. But was that enough? No! So I volunteered to be a member of my school’s PTA executive board because I wanted to plan more opportunities for parents to become involved in their child’s education. Then I started a blog, and now I am constantly thinking of ways I can use it to inspire more people. I couldn’t figure out why I always have this need to do more? Then it hit me, I am trying to make my life count. I am trying to live my life on purpose!

Many of us live such busy lives following the same routine not giving much thought about what our purpose is on this earth. For years I thought my only purpose was getting up every morning and getting my kids off to school, going to work, coming home, cooking dinner and starting it all over again the next day. While taking care of my family is a big part of who I am, I know now that I was made intentionally for a purpose.

My purpose in life is to educate, inspire and empower others. This is my passion, this reflects who I am inside. However, in order for me to realize this I had to:

1.Step out in faith and try new things that interested me.
2.Listen to that little voice that was pushing me to follow my dreams! (It was God!)
3.Be patient.

Each day I try to fulfill my purpose in some way. This has not only brought me a new kind of happiness but it has helped me to love the life that I am living even more!

What is your passion? How are you living your life on purpose?