Happy National Best Friends Day!

“There is a marked difference between acquaintances and friends. Most people don’t really become friends. They become deep and serious acquaintances. But in a friendship you get to know the spirit of another person; and your values collide.” ~Maya Angelou

The older I get the more I am convinced that we should all have a few amazing friends in our lives and at least one phenomenal one!

So in honor of National Best Friend Day I am re-posting an oldie by goodie:

Never Too Old For a Best Friend!

“Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be a true friend with anyone else in the world.”

I have had many friendships in my life, some like a good wine have matured over time and others I realize now were just for a season. When I was younger having a BFF was almost a necessity, I mean whom else could I talk to about that boy I was crushing on or call to find out what they were wearing to school the next day so we could dress alike (yes, I was a little corny when I was a tween). However, as an adult having a best friend became less of a priority and after a series of unhealthy and in some cases toxic “friendships” I convinced myself that I could have many friends but I did not need or want a so-called best friend.

So I became my own BFF. In order to do this I had to be brutally honest with myself just like a real best friend would. This meant being straightforward and telling myself the truth about things that I really didn’t want to admit. It meant laughing at myself and having a good cry when necessary. Most importantly it meant forgiving myself while understanding that I am not perfect.

Learning how to be a friend to myself taught me how to appreciate a real friend and helped me to begin a fabulous friendship with one of the most amazing women I know. Our friendship has become a healthy necessity for us both. We have become each other’s therapists! Even with our very busy lives we make sure that we have time for each other. This can be a phone call or a girl’s night out where we can vent or laugh about anything we want with no interruptions from the kids or our hubbies. One thing that makes our friendship special is that we both know what it means to be an unconditional friend. We know when to listen, when to offer advice and when to just pour another glass of wine and be silent. That is the beauty of our friendship. NO EXPLANATIONS NEEDED! I love it!

So in my opinion you are never too old to have a BFF once you know what it means to be your own best friend first and you have an unconditional friendship like I do!

Get Your Happy Back!

The definition of happiness varies for each of us at different times of our lives. When I was in my twenties happiness meant being married with 2.5 kids, living in a house with a white picket fence.... you know the American dream! As I got older I stopped looking for people or materials things to make me happy. Happiness now is more of a state of mind it's not about the material things, it's a feeling of being content with my life and the choices I have made. Since I no longer rely on people to define my happiness I have no one except myself to blame if I lose it.

Unfortunately many of us base happiness on the successes or failures of our relationships with men. This is the ultimate happiness stealer. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being happy with the one you love but when you do not have happiness as a state of mind then it can be stolen. It took me some years to get it right, but I have finally learned that in order to love and be loved the way I deserved I had to be content with me. I had to lay down some rules for my happiness. I was determined to get my happy back...by any means necessary! So I am sharing with you some surefire ways to get your happy back:

Put YOU First - I know to some people this seems selfish especially when we have families who needs us constantly, but you really have to make yourself a priority; if not you will become burned out, resentful and unhappy.

Reassess Your Circle - Surround yourself with people who aren't joy stealers. Deep down you know who these people are. They are the ones who constantly criticize your looks, words, clothes and decisions. Most of the times these are the people who are the closest ones to you and that is why they are able to rob you of your joy, sometimes without you even knowing.

Consider the Source - I realized that sometimes people tried to give me advice based on their issues NOT mine. Nope...not gonna happen! Just because you are unhappy in your situation doesn't mean I have to be unhappy in mine.

Understand Your Worth - This one is the most important to me. We all deserve to be happy! You don't need anyone to determine your level of happiness or your sense of worth. Only you control that and no matter how much you love someone you should never give them that power!

So go ahead and take it all back!! Get your SEXY back, get your JOY back and GET YOUR HAPPY BACK!!!!!

After All These Years.....

For our anniversary my hubby took me to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for a romantic dinner. For desert he had them come out with a sampling of yummy treats with the words Happy Anniversary drizzled in chocolate on the plate.

As we sat there eating, talking and laughing I couldn't help but think about how after all these years he still looks at me like it is the first time he has ever met me. After all these years he still know how to make me blush. After all this years I still feel like one of the luckiest women on earth to be called his wife!

Educating, Inspiring and Empowering Our Girls!

As a mother of two daughters I know the importance of teaching girls how to love themselves unconditionally. Did you know that 7 out of 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, their performance in school or their relationships with their families and friends? When I read this statistic it made me wonder just when do our girls lose their self-confidence? When do they go from little girls who do not have a care in the world filled with confidence and self-esteem to girls who are filled with self-doubt who do not love what they see when they look in the mirror? According to The National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, the self-esteem tipping point happens during the transition to teenage years. These years are the most crucial for girls; this is when they stop communication with us - the adults in their lives.

I saw this first hand when my oldest daughter was making this transition...she went from a little girl who would come home everyday and tell me everything that happened in school from first to last period, to a teenager who trusted and confided more in her friends then in me. Now that she is a young adult we are back to the relationship we had when she was younger, but we missed out on some important communication during those teenage years. What is very interesting is that most girls wish to have open and frequent conversations with their parents - but sometimes they don't know how or are not sure what our reactions will be to what is going on in their lives.

Educating, inspiring and empowering young girls to love themselves unconditionally has become one of my biggest passions. I believe in the importance of empowering our girls and helping them build the strength needed to deal with the many challenges they will face in life. It is because of this passion that I started I Love Me Unconditionally, a mentoring program to help girls build healthy, positive self images.

I recently posted about stepping out on faith and following what I believe to be God's purpose for my life. So using my role as a mother and my background as an educator I started the I Love Me Unconditionally mentoring program for girls and I am proud to say that this summer we will be having our very first I Love Me! Summer Camp where girls will participate in fun activities while building a strong sense of self esteem and of course celebrating all that is fabulous about being a girl!

I am so excited about this new endeavor and I believe that if I can help just one girl learn to love themselves unconditionally then I know that I am fulfilling God's purpose for my life!

Before and After

Recently I was looking at old pictures and I couldn't believe how different I looked. It's crazy to think that just 16 months ago I weighed 50 pounds more that I do now. Although I had a certain level of confidence then...my confidence now is at an all-time high! I really believe that no matter how much you weigh or what size you wear it's all about how you feel about yourself. Before I felt good about myself but as the numbers on the scale kept growing along with my pants size I knew I had to do get serious about losing weight.

Before

Now 50 pounds later I feel amazing and have a sense of confidence that I haven't had in years! I still have five more stubborn pounds that I would like to lose but the most important part is that I am healthy and that I did it all by just watching my diet and exercising...who would have thought that really works! At my last physical my doctor told me that my blood pressure and cholesterol level was the lowest it's been since I was in my 20's! Now if that isn't a reason to keep up with this new healthy lifestyle I don't know is!

After

Celebrating all that is fabulous about being a mom and a woman!

We are amazing aren't we? Mothers have a certain kind of resilience that allows us to cope with the small inconveniences of life as well as the major catastrophes. I love being a mom and although there have been times during my 21 years of motherhood that I believed I wasn't so good at it....I know now that I rock as a mother to my girls! That's right, I am tooting my own horn! Why shouldn't I? My girls are healthy, happy and loved! I didn't say I am a perfect mother but to my girls I am and that is all that counts! Have I made mistakes at this job along the way...sure! Was it always easy....nope! Was it all worth it...as I watch them grow into strong, confident and beautiful young women I say....ABSOLUTELY!

It took me a while, but I learned to find a healthy balance between being a mother and being a woman. I learned to make time for my girls but to also make time just for me. Sometimes we put so much time into making sure that our children are taken care of that we forget to take care of ourselves. I learned that being a mother means that at times I have to temporarily put aside my needs in order to provide for my girls but my needs MUST be meet eventually. From the first day that I became a mother I loved my girls unconditionally! But when I learned to love myself unconditionally I became a better mother!

So ladies if you know that you are doing your best at this beautiful thing called motherhood while still finding time to take care of you then lift your glass and celebrate all that is fabulous about being a mom and a woman!

Happy Mother's Day!

Thank you, Mrs. Meiselas!

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week and I have been thinking about all the teachers that instilled in me a lifelong love of learning and inspired me to become a teacher. In the 4th grade Mrs. Rose Meiselas was my typing teacher. Although that was over 30 years ago I can still remember almost everything about her. How she always wore matching polyester pantsuits and how her hair was really big with lots of hairspray. I can still see the many age spots on her hands as she showed us the correct way to position our fingers on the asdf and jkl; keys of the typewriter. However, what I remember the most about her was how she stood up for me after an incident that happened one day after school.

I was walking home and decided to cut through the schoolyard. Three older boys cornered me and threatened to……well let’s just say they didn’t have good things in mind. Not sure if they were joking or not I ran away hysterically to the principal’s office and Mrs. Meiselas was there. When I told the principal what happened the first thing he asked me was why did I walk through the schoolyard. It was then that Mrs. Meiselas interrupted his insensitive questioning and said, “What difference does that make?” She then insisted that he called my parents to come and get me and she also called the parents of the boys who were involved. She was my advocate!

From that day on she always took a special interest in me. I think she knew that I needed something to boost my self-confidence so she made me her special monitor and I helped her during my lunch and recess times. Even after I graduated and went on to middle school I kept in contact with her and visited her often. She was a compassionate and dedicated teacher who not only cared about her student’s academic success but also how they succeeded socially. I knew I wanted to become that kind of teacher!

A few years ago I was talking to a colleague that is about 17 years older than me and we found out that we were both originally from the same state and went to the same elementary school. What was even more amazing was that Mrs. Meiselas had also inspired her to become a teacher! Wow! All I can say is I hope that I can make a difference in my students lives the way she made a difference in hers!