Beware of the Comfort Zone!

Why can't I just be satisfied with my life the way it is? What is this constant desire to keep stepping out of my comfort zone? I know that change is hard! Growth can really hurt! I guess that's where the term "growing pains" comes from. Being complacent is safe. Isn't it? Yes, because there is no chance of failure when you are complacent.

Although I know all of this I am constantly still making moves to step out of my comfort zone. As I get older I realize that I am in constant competition with myself. What I want to know is where was this competitive spirit when I was younger and had more energy. I know so many people who are happy with their lives just like I am and no matter what they will never voluntarily move out of their comfort zone. Why can't this be me? Instead, when I stay in my comfort zone for too long I feel restricted as if I am slowly being intellectually suffocated. I have to keep changing, learning, growing. It's exhausting and at the same time exciting.

Complacency is just another excuse for fear and this is why many of us pretend to be content in our current situations whether it be in our personal or professional lives. We are afraid of change. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of failure. I know these feelings all to well. But there is something about moving beyond my fear that gives me a sense of freedom and reminds me that I am still growing. Growth represents life. And I still have a whole lot of life in me!

So ladies, really think about this one. What would you do if you could move past your comfort zone? What would you do if you weren't afraid of change?

I Love Myself Affirmation!

I posted this a few months ago but today I feel the need to post it again. I think sometimes we all need a reminder on how and why we should love ourselves unconditionally! I know I do! I hope it inspires you as much as it inspires me!


Deep at the center of my being,
there is an infinite well of love.

I now allow this love to flow to the surface.
It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness,
my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions
and returns to me multiplied.
The more love I use and give, the more I have to give.
The supply is endless.
The use of love makes me feel good,
it is an expression of my inner joy.

I love myself;
therefore, I take loving care of my body.
I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages,
I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly
responds to me with vibrant health and energy.

I love myself; therefore provide for myself
a comfortable home, one that fills
all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.
I fill the rooms with the vibration of love
so that all who enter, myself included,
will feel this love and be nourished by it.

I love myself; therefore I work at a job I truly enjoy
doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities,
working with and for people I love and who love me,
and earning a good income.

I love myself; therefore, I behave and think in a loving
way to all people for I know that that which I give out
returns to me multiplied.
I only attract loving people in my world,
for they are a mirror of what I am.

I love myself; therefore I forgive and totally release
the past and all past experiences and I am free.

I love myself; therefore I live totally in the now,
experiencing each moment as good and knowing that
my future is bright and joyous and secure,
for I am a beloved child of God
and God lovingly takes care of me
now and forever more.

And so it is.

If you pick at it ...it will bleed - A lesson on consequences

"If you keep picking at it, it will bleed!" These wise words came from my father many years ago. I was probably about 8 or 9 and I had a hangnail that I kept picking at. My father must have been watching me do this for a while because he said this without even looking up from his newspaper. I've always remembered this quote from him and until recently I never really knew why it stayed with me. You see it's all about consequences. Now I am not staying that my father meant this quote to become a life lesson; I am sure he just was telling me to quit picking at the hangnail! At the time I didn't think that this was going to be a teachable moment for me...but now 33 years I relate it to life's choices and consequences.

When I was younger my attitude was let me have fun now and reap the consequences later. Surprisingly, that never really worked out because some consequences have lasting effects. This is a lesson that I try to teach my daughters. The decisions they make now can directly affect their future, positively or negatively. So they must choose wisely! As they get older they both have started taking more control over the decisions they make...and reluctantly I have stepped back. As their mother I am there for guidance and support ALWAYS but I want them to know that ultimately they are in charge of their future.

"Parents can only give good advice or put their children on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands." Anne Frank

Believe me, it's not easy especially when my 21 year old daughter asks me to make a decision for her. When I hear the indecisiveness in her voice I am almost ready to tell her what to do or worst do it for her. But then I remember she has to be responsible for her own choices. So I listen patiently as she weighs her pros and cons and eventually makes her decision with very little input from me. Do I always agree with her choice? Not always. But I have learned that it's her life and therefore, it's her choice to make. Although, Cookie who is only 14 still needs me to make some decisions for her she has begun to think about how the choices she does make will affect her life now and in the future.

So thanks daddy for that funny little piece of advice many years ago! Who knew it would help me become a better mother to my girls.

Me + This Blog =Therapy

Friend of a friend: Are you still doing that blog?
Me: Yeah!
Friend of a friend: Are you getting paid for it?
Me: No....
Annoying Friend of a friend: So why do you still do it?

(Okay, let's pause this conversation here for a minute.)

I had to think about that question for a few seconds. But a few seconds is all I gave it. The truth is I love to write but by no means do I pretend to be a professional. Believe me, I am not expecting a literary award for this. I write about topics that I have experienced or care strongly about with the hopes that maybe someone can relate. It makes me happy to know that something that I wrote might make a reader smile, think, or be encouraged. When I sit down to write a post it is the equivalent of a therapy session for me. This blog has giving me an outlet that has allowed me to express myself. I have also gotten great advice from some amazing women and I am even able to vent freely when necessary! What more can you ask for from a good therapist??

So, no I am not doing it for fame or fortune. I blog for me and for the few who may be encouraged in some way. Because ladies....as I encourage you I am encouraging myself!

So now let's continue the conversation here:

Me: I do it for me! It's very therapeutic. You should really try it!

Cheers to the Freakin' Weekend!

As Rihanna says..."I'll drink to that"

The other day I was driving home from work and I happened to see my bff driving by. When we spotted each other we rolled down our windows, waved and then continued on our way to complete our after work activities. It was then I realized that "drive-by" wave was the first time in weeks that I have seen her. When did our lives get so busy lately that we don't even have time to spend time with each other on the weekends like we used to?

I must admit that lately my weekdays have been so hectic that on the weekends all I want to do is stay home and recuperate from the stressful week. Well...that's just boring. I almost forgot about my work hard, play hard motto! So this weekend I decided it’s time to let my hair down again (so to speak) and rededicate my Saturday and Sunday to a little bit of relaxing but also a lot of fun!

So ladies....enjoy every last minute of your two days off. Spend it with your kids, your significant other, your friends or just chill by yourself but whatever you do enjoy your freakin' weekend...you deserve it!

Dove Self-Esteem Weekend October 21st-23rd

Looking for something to do this weekend? Well, how about joining a movement that will make a difference in the lives of young girls and women everywhere.

Educating, inspiring and empowering young girls to love themselves unconditionally is one of my biggest passions. I believe in the importance of empowering our girls and helping them build the strength needed to deal with the many challenges they will face in life. This summer I started the I Love Me, Unconditionally mentoring program for girls where the girls engaged in fun activities while building a strong sense of self-esteem and of course celebrating all that is beautiful about them!

According to recent Dove Global research, only 11% of girls worldwide are comfortable using the word “beautiful” to describe themselves. In fact, when girls feel bad about their looks, more than 70% (age 15-17) avoid normal daily activities, such as attending school, going to the doctor, or even giving their opinion. Dove believes that by helping girls build a positive relationship with beauty, they can help them reach their full potential – and that’s the goal of the Dove Self-Esteem Weekend.

Take a minute to think about the women in your life who may have inspired you. Now it's your turn to be an inspiration to your daughter, niece, student or any young girl in your life by just pledging to spend an hour with them this weekend.

Here are just a few activities ideas that you can do one-on-one with a girl in your life, or even in a group:

A Girl’s Guide to the Digital World (Ages 10 & Up)
The essential guide for the modern woman; utilize our guide to the digital world as you walk your child through the ways she can work to develop a healthy attitude towards networking with friends and peers online. Useful tips from Dove Ambassador Jess Weiner make this guide perfect as our girls embark on a new school year.

New Moves & Grooves (All Ages)
Get physical! Choose a new activity, or pick one you both love. Anything from hula hooping to rock climbing, to dancing, bowling, roller-skating, hiking, swimming and more can be healthy for your body, mind and relationship.

Girls in the Lead (Ages 10 & Up)
Let the girl in your life teach you a new skill. Try doing a project together like jewelry making or pottery, or ask her to show you how to do something you normally wouldn’t, like play video games or learn to text.

Real Beauty Spa Day (Ages 12 & Up)
Spend an entire day with just the two of you and enjoy pampering yourselves. Turn a room into your very own at-home spa where you can do manicures and pedicures, mud masks, massages, have a healthy lunch and sip smoothies. Relax and watch an uplifting movie together. Use the opportunity to spark a meaningful discussion-ask her how she feels when she takes care of her appearance, which are her favorite or most unique features and what she likes best about herself. Teach her that looking her best and taking the time to treat herself is an important part of feeling good.

My daughter and I will having our Real Beauty Spa Day this weekend!!! Check back soon to hear all about our day and if you decide to join in the Dove Self-Esteem Weekend I would love to hear about it!

Check out www.dovemovement.com for more ideas and conversation starters. Let's continue to inspire and motivate our girls to reach their full potential.

Mood Swings

Emotional, moody and temperamental. On any given day I can experience any one of these emotions. Sometimes all at once. Usually, I have valid reasons for my mood swings and a glass of wine with a long hot bath is usually the cure. Other days, I have no reason for my mood swings and the only thing that helps is a good hard cry. Could it be hormonal or am I just cranky? The truth is sometimes I am just cranky. Other days? Yes, it is hormonal and it is completely normal to be in a funk when you are in PMS Mode. Once I was watching the show Ghost Whisperer and I started to sob uncontrollably when a man returned from the dead and danced with his wife. My husband thought I had lost my mind. Turns out I was just in PMS mode. Go figure.

According to Dr. Roshinin Raj, MD author of the book "What the Yuck!? The Freaky and Fabulous Truth about Your Body (Love this book!) "as long as your cranky mood isn't causing problems at home or at work, or interfering with your ability to get through your daily activities, it's probably not depression. We all know that life is full of ups and downs but when the downs keep you down for a long time it can lead to depression. Depression is a real disease that many women suffer from. So if you think you many be suffering from depression you do not have to suffer alone. There are many good treatment options that can help you cope with depression so make an appointment with a mental health professional.

Here are some tips from Dr. Raj to help you figure out if your PMS moods are normal or not:

NORMAL: Feeling cranky a day or two before your period.
NOT NORMAL: Feeling out of control cranky for 10 solid days

NORMAL: Not being able to sleep for a night or so before your period.
NOT NORMAL: Tossing and turning every night for two weeks or longer.

NORMAL: Feeling a little sluggish a few days before your period starts.
NOT NORMAL: Not being able to get out of bed for a week before your period starts.

NORMAL: Feeling irritated about everyday annoyances (getting cut off in traffic, your husband not taking the garbage out.
NOT NORMAL: Getting in a yelling, screaming, throwing-things rage over your husband not taking out the garbage.

NORMAL: Tearing up while watching sappy made-for-ts movies. (Like Ghost Whisperer)
NOT NORMAL: Repeatedly bursting into tears and not knowing why.