Endless Possibilities

"The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn". Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is full of endless possibilities, isn't it?

This past weekend my daughter and I were having a talk about the career choices that she might be interested in pursuing. She is a sophomore in high school and still very undecided but that is perfectly normal. After listening to her list of choices (and they all were really good choices) I started thinking about how great it is that she has the ability and so many opportunities to be anything she wants to be. The world as they say....is her oyster!

One of the reasons we moved our family from the city to the suburbs was to give our girls more opportunities to achieve their dreams. Not that I have anything against raising children in the city....many a rose have grown out of concrete! Hey, I am a rose that was grown out of concrete!!! But we wanted to give them as many options as we could. Although she is still young I am so grateful that she is taking advantage of all life has to offer she is excelling both academically and socially. Exactly what we prayed for.

Even at my age it still excites me to know that there is always more to learn, achieve and conquer. I am more motivated and empowered at this time of my life than I have ever been and after reading some of your New Year's Resolutions posts I know many of you are also feeling this way. So whether it's going back to school, starting your own business, changing careers or expanding your side hustle just remember that the opportunities are endless and I am rooting for your success!

Do You Know What Today is?

Yes, not only is it New Years Day (Hello 2012!) but it is also my first blogiversary! One year ago today I sat on this same spot on my couch and decided to start a blog as sort of an "online diary". I had no intentions on making this blog public. I had finally developed a healthy disregard about what others thought about me and just wanted someplace to celebrate the new unconditional love that I found! I was learning to embrace the flaws that I could not change and work on improving the ones that I could. I stopped making excuses and started celebrating everything that was fabulous about me! I realized that my titles of mother, wife, daughter, friend, sister and teacher make me who I am but in order for me to be the best I can be in all of these roles I had to go back to just being me and learn how to love myself unconditionally!

After I finished writing my first post- Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself (this is where I would normally link the post but for some reason my link isn't working so feel free to check it out on the blog archives list) I let my husband read it and he was so impressed that he suggested that I let my god daughter read it. So I did. She loved it and suggested that I open it up to readers so that other women may be inspired. So I did. Hired a fabulous graphic designer had a blog makeover and as they say...the rest is herstory!

This little space in the blogsphere has allowed me to meet so many phenomenal women. I look forward to reading many of your blogs because it makes me feel like I'm catching up with an old girlfriend. I have celebrated accomplishments with some of you and sympathized with your disappointments. I have learned fashion tips, recipes, decorating ideas and how to side hustle. This blog has even helped me become more social network savvy. I even joined Facebook and Twitter this year and even got accounts for Google+ and Pinterest (still working on figuring out these two)...if you know me personally you know that is a big accomplishment!

This blog has encouraged me to really think about what God's purpose is for my life and as a result I started my girl's mentoring program I Love Me! This past summer I started the I Love Me! Summer Workshop for Girls. It was an amazing experience for the girls and for me.

I appreciate each and every one of you! Your comments, encouragement, likes, tweets and inspiration. Thank you for accompanying me on my journey during this season of my life! Stay tuned....the best is yet to come!

What's on Your Checklist?

Most of us have a checklist with the things we want to accomplish for the New Year and usually that list includes a new and improved weight loss regimen. However, I came across a list that includes some items that many of us may not think about putting on our list. (I love #36) Enjoy and Happy New Year!

In 2012, I believe all women should have or work toward having:

1. Peace of mind and if possible a piece of property.

2. A will.

3. Willpower.

4. A savings account in your own name.

5. A mammogram.

6. A manicure (not to mention a pedicure, a facial and a massage--all on the same day).

7. A set of matching luggage.

8. A ticket to some exotic place to unpack it.

9. A great hairdresser, manicurist and gynecologist.

10. A passionate, fiery, unforgettable love affair.

11. A little black dress that makes you look five pounds thinner.

12. A sense of humor, style and purpose.

13. A selfish streak.

14. A spiritual foundation that gets you through a very bad night without going crazy.

15. A facial foundation that gets you through a very long day without going ashy.

16. A good bra.

17. A good spa.

18. A library card (used often).

19. A credit card (used sparingly).

20. At least one person in your life who says: "You call, I come."

21. Good body language (multilingual!).

22. A broken heart and the knowledge you can survive it.

23. A cause (domestic violence, infant mortality, save the whales--your choice).

24. A personal relationship with God.

25. A personal trainer.

26. Selective amnesia ("What Saturday morning meeting?").

27. Gall.

28. A good skin-care regimen.

29. The ability to converse on any subject without benefit of concrete knowledge or access to facts.

30. A shocking secret.

31. A pair of silk pajamas.

32. A lifetime membership in at least one organization that uplifts women.

33. The phone number of someone who is good with their hands.

34. At least one drop-dead, don't-speak-to-me-because-you-know-you-don't-know-me gorgeous photo of yourself.

35. A friendship that has stood the test of time.

36. One last chance to tell the guy you were crazy about in your 20s who treated you like cigarette ashes on the floor what you were too dumb to know when he walked out with your heart in his hands: "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

37. A soul mate.

38. Faith, hope and a good fantasy.

39. A dream.

40. A plan to make it come true.

Parts of list taken from 1997 Ebony Magazine Johnson Publishing Co.

All I Want for Christmas.....

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is to:

~wake up next to the man I love.

~make a big Christmas breakfast for my family.

~watch my 14 year old open her gifts with the same excitement as she did when she was 5.

~wait for my hubby to pretend he didn't buy me anything and then "surprise" me at the last minute.

~get dressed up in my Christmas best and visit with family.

~eat, drink and be merry!

~never forever the reason for the season!

(oh yeah and an iPad!)

Merry Christmas my blogfriends!

Learning to Practice What I Preach

Remember in October when I posted Taking Care of the Girls? Well, after I had my yearly mammogram I received a phone call less than an hour later telling me that I needed to come back and retest one of my breasts because they saw "something". Something like what?, I asked the nurse. "A dense area that wasn't there last year", she replied. "It could be breast tissue but we just want to be sure", she added. Immediately panic set in. I could feel my heart racing. Then she said, "the next available appointment isn't until the 14th @1:30. Oh, that is 2 weeks away! I thought to myself. If they thought it was an emergency they would have made the appointment sooner. Right?

I called my hubby right after I hung up and he told me not to worry and reassured me that everything was going to be okay and maybe I should ask for an earlier appointment. But I didn't want an earlier appointment. Everything was going to be okay. Right?

Then I spoke to my bff who told me that same thing had happened to her a few years ago and it turned out to be nothing. Okay. Maybe I am panicking for nothing.

Then I spoke to another woman who said sometimes she thinks they call you back just for the insurance to pay for another mammogram. Really? I would hate to think that was true but it could be. Right?

By the time the week of the appointment came around I had completely talked myself out of going. I convinced myself that it was nothing to worry about and that I would eventually reschedule the appointment for a time that was more convenient for me. Sounds crazy I know.

So the morning of the appointment I got dressed for work and decided that I would call the office and cancel the appointment when I got in. However, on my way to work my hubby sent me a text and it read, "Are you taking a half-day?" I couldn't believe it... he never remembers ANYTHING. He didn't mentioned the appointment last night so I figured he'd forgotten the date. I innocently replied.."No. I am going to reschedule for another day so I don't have to take time from work." Before I even hit send I knew that was the most ridiculous excuse I had ever heard. I have taken days off to do nothing important and now all of a sudden I am Miss Workaholic! The truth is I was scared. Scared of possibly getting bad news. Scared of hearing that maybe everything WASN'T going to be alright.

Then the phone rang and before I could say hello I heard my hubby sternly yet lovingly say, "you have to go TODAY, I'll leave early and come with you if you want me to". "No, I will be fine". I said.

I knew he was right, I had to go.

And I did.

Before I walked into the doctor's office I sat in the parking lot and prayed through tears. The nurse showed me the x-ray and pointed out the small nodule-like image that was causing concern. Then she proceeded to take four quick and very uncomfortable pictures. While I sat in the waiting room while she took the pictures to the doctor to review I flipped through at least 2 People Magazines trying to think positive thoughts. About 10 minutes later I could hear her footsteps walking back to the waiting room. She walked in and sat down. "Good news," she said. "Your breast is healthy. The image was breast tissue that overlapped when the first mammogram was done. This happens sometimes....but we have to retake to be sure." And all I could say was, "Thank you Lord!"

As I drove home I thought about how this whole story could have ended differently but thankfully it didn't. I thought about how I almost didn't go and take care of myself because I was afraid. How ironic is it that I am always telling other women they have to put themselves first and there I was ignoring my health because of fear. Not really practicing loving myself unconditionally, huh? I guess sometimes it's not that easy to practice what you preach. But I am going to work on that.

I thank God for my hubby who gave me some tough love on the phone that day I think that is what I needed. Mostly, I thank God for hearing my cry and for always loving me unconditionally even when I am not loving myself.

#dontjudgeme

One morning I stopped at Dunkin Donuts to get a very much needed latte. The woman in front of me ordered a coffee and then decided to also get a bow-tie doughnut. After she placed her order she turned to me, shrugged her shoulders and said..."sometimes we just have to treat ourselves, right?"

"Totally!", I replied.

As I drove to work I thought about her comment. I couldn't help thinking that she really didn't believe it. It was almost as if she felt guilty for having a doughnut and thought that I might have been judging her decision to indulge. But really who am I to judge? I think that we ALL do need to treat ourselves sometimes!

I know I do!

So please don't judge me if I:

~take a day off just to stay home and watch Lifetime Movies in my pj's all day! (I call it a mental health day)

~buy myself something that I really want for a change before I buy my daughters something they really want. (rarely happens but when it does I will not feel guilty!)

~get gel manicures every two to three weeks....religiously! (my nail lady gives the best shoulder massages while my nails are drying)

~wake up early on Saturday morning just to watch my shows on the DVR alone without anyone constantly reminding me that I can fast forward through the commercials! (ever think that maybe I want to watch the commercials?)

~have a glass of wine (or two) with my dinner on a week night.

~get excited when I am home alone. (I love my family but there is something about spending time with yourself that can definitely feel like a special treat!)

~order the Taco Nachos appetizer to share but secretly hope to eat it all by myself. (and I usually do!)

So ladies go ahead and have that bow-tie doughnut, pour that Wednesday night glass of wine or buy yourself something that you really want for a change. I won't judge you! We should treat ourselves whenever and however we want! Why not? Don't we all deserve it?

Tweaking Traditions

Every family no matter how big or small has its own holiday traditions that are followed throughout the years. Since we do not live in the same state as the rest of our family we usually do the traveling to make sure we continue the tradition of us spending the holidays together. This Thanksgiving we drove 55 miles to celebrate the holiday with our family and friends. We started out at around noon and made it to the first stop at 2:00. We ate, drank, had a few laughs until it was time to leave to go to the next family gathering. We arrived there at 7:00....right in time to eat...again. We stayed there for a few hours and then left to go visit yet two more family/friends gatherings. When our Thanksgiving night was done we finally went to bed at 4:00AM! It was a fun, yet extremely exhausting day! Although we love visiting family and friends...it can be so stressful to make sure we visit everyone and that we share an equal amount of time with all our loved ones.

A few years ago my daughter asked if we could please celebrate just one holiday at home. How could we say no? So we decided to stay home on Christmas.....and we began our Christmas Eve tradition. On Christmas Eve we put on our Santa hats, pile up the gifts in the truck and drive those 55 miles to deliver gifts and some Christmas cheer. We usually start early and get home late but this way we get to visit family and friends on Christmas Eve AND we also get to enjoy our Christmas Day relaxing and at home savoring every moment of the blessed holiday. I think it's a win-win!

However, choosing to spending Christmas at home means that we are not be part of all the Christmas Day gatherings but I have learned that sometimes you have to find a balance in order to make the holidays less stressful. As the kids get older and families expand sometimes it is necessary for families to tweak their traditions in order to accommodate everyone’s lifestyle. At some point one generation may have to create new traditions with their own families. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

So I'll be home for Christmas! What are some of your Holiday traditions? How do you find a balance to make the holidays less stressful?