Our Mini Date at the CVS Minute Clinic

This morning I woke up feeling horrible. I just knew I had strep throat, just one of the many perks of being a teacher. So I rolled over and told my hubby that he is going to have to take me to CVS Minute Clinic to get a strep test since my doctors office was closed. So off we went. When we got there 4 people were waiting to be seen before me. Great! What a way to spend our Saturday morning. So we took a seat in the waiting area and just talked.

Without the television, ipad, laptops distracting us we sat in the CVS Minute Clinic waiting area.... and chatted about everything and nothing at all. For the next hour we talked as though there was no one else in that waiting area but us. Funny we never even realized that we were sitting there for an hour...that is how engrossed we were in conversation and I can't really even tell you what we spoke about. But before we knew it they called my name and confirmed my suspicions...strep and an ear infection. As we waited in line at the pharmacy for my 5-day antibiotics treatment I told my hubby that I enjoyed our Minute Clinic date. He laughed and said, "only the best for my wife!"

Marriages need times like these to keep them strong. Sometimes we don't have the time to schedule as many date nights as we would like so when opportunities present themselves to just sit and talk and laugh..... why not take advantage of them! Although, I really wish that I was not sick.... I was glad he was there with me. The truth is it's all about how you spend the time together that matters more than where and when!

The Greatest Love of All

As I drove to work this morning I was listening to a medley of Whitney Houston songs that WBLS was playing as a tribute to her extraordinary musical career. I sang every song loud and off key as if I was performing at my very own private and personal tribute to Whitney. After all many of her songs could be played as the soundtrack for my teenage to adult life. Then the “Greatest Love of All” came on. Now I must have sang this song hundreds of times throughout the years but for some reason this morning the verse “learning to love your self is the greatest love of all” had a new meaning for me. Self-love IS the greatest love of all but it is also the most difficult form of love to give. Many of us struggle with self-love because we think it would be viewed as self-centered, vain or just selfish. But I believe in order for us to receive the kind of love that we deserve from others we first must learn how to fall in love with ourselves. If you can't love yourself how in the world can you expect others to really fall in love with you?

When I was younger I had a very warped view of what I deserved from a relationship. In fact most times I never really thought about what I deserved. I knew I wanted to make the other person happy and never really gave much thought into what made me happy. Now I know that self-love is the foundation of all loves and without it any relationship that we are in will be an unequal one. In my marriage my husband and I have no problem catering to each others needs because we both have a strong sense of respect and confidence in ourselves and for one other.

So what does self-love mean to you? Does it mean you love yourself enough to take care of your mind, body and soul by any means necessary? Does it mean you put your needs first even if sometimes.... just sometimes the needs of others have to go on back burner? Does it mean you let others know how you deserve to be treated and you refuse to settle for less?

Ladies, this Valentine's Day why not give yourself a gift...the gift of the greatest love of all....love of self. I promise you will not be disappointed!

"And if by chance that special place that you've been dreaming of leads you to a lonely place find your strength in love!"

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Thinking Positively!

Please bear with me as self-indulge: I am as fabulous as I let myself be. Let me repeat that. I am fabulous as I let myself be.

This was my positive quote for this week and you know what I learned....I am freaking fabulous and I shouldn't wait for someone to compliment me when I can do it myself! So this week I consciously replaced all of my negative thoughts with positive ones and let me tell you it wasn't easy but well worth it. One thing I learned this week is that having positive thoughts when you are under stress is difficult but it can help you put things in perspective.

So here are some things I did to keep me thinking positive this week!

1. Don't allow what people think and say affect my mood. This was very challenging especially at work when this happens often. So example, when I said good morning to someone and they barely parted their lips to say it back I responded with, "Have a great day!" and I meant it!

2. Associate with people who bring something of value into my life. One thing I learned is that sometimes you can't avoid being around negative people but you can learn how to ignore them graciously when they are in their company.

3. Say positive things about myself. Instead of looking in the mirror and finding all the things I could change about myself. I looked in the mirror and really saw how amazing I am inside and out.

4. Compliment people when I feel they deserve it. I really liked doing this one. Giving compliments not only helped boost the person's self-confidence but it has a way of making me feel good about myself too!

5. Have faith in myself and in my abilities. Self-doubt is a silent dream killer. It can creep up on you when you least expect it and fill your mind with negative thoughts of yourself and your abilities. But I know I am fabulous as I let myself be. Let me repeat that. I am as fabulous as I let myself be and so are you!

Learning to Cope with Stress

One thing I learned from looking over my journal from last week was that I desperately need to set some health goals and since Week 2 of my Feel Fabulous Makeover is about setting health goals now is a perfect time to start! However, my health goals are not all about improving my physical health. Keeping a daily journal helped me to realize that I needed to set some emotional/mental health goals. Lately, I have been taking my emotional health for granted not realizing that I need to give it the same effort that I give to to maintaining physical health. Don't get me wrong I strongly believe that physical and emotional health go hand in hand but most times we pay so much attention to the exterior us that we forget about how important the interior is. For example, how many of us talk to our family doctor if we have an ongoing emotional problem? However, the minute we feel sick we make an appointment. Same thing goes for taking a sick day from work, I believe sometimes we also need to take an emotional health day!

So what exactly is an emotionally healthy person?
An emotionally healthy person:
~is in control of their thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
~can keep problems in perspective and bounce back from disappointments.
~is able to balance stress and emotions.
~is resilient.

Wow! I used to be all those things! I used to be able to cope with stressful situations while still maintaining a positive attitude. However, lately, I have lost my ability to leave my work stress at work and I find myself being emotional, irritable and stressed. I stopped paying attention to my own needs and feelings. I let stress and negative emotions build up without talking about them as often as I need too. Suddenly it just became harder to maintain a healthy balance between my daily responsibilities and the things that I enjoy doing just for me.

Now this is not at all uncommon. I did a lot of reading on building and maintaining emotional health and the one thing that I learned was that we all go through a time where we just get overwhelmed by the day to day stresses of life and find it hard to cope with these stresses in an acceptable and healthy way. So it is time for me to take control and set some emotional/mental health goals for myself.

1. Make leisure time a priority. Do things that I enjoy doing for no reason other than it makes ME happy!

2. Manage my stress levels. I read that the body responds to stress by making stress hormones which over a long period of time can wear down your body so it’s important to keep it under control. I know that not all stress can be avoided but I need to reactivate my stress management tools that help me bounce back from stressful situations.

3. Learn to express my feelings. Sometimes I just need to let the people who are close to me know when something is bothering me. Keeping feelings of sadness or stress inside takes too much energy and can cause us to feel alone which can lead to depression.

4. Focus on the positive things in my life and there are a lot of them! I need to start paying attention and appreciating what is good, positive, and beautiful in my life.

I know that whatever negative factors have allowed me to neglect my mental and emotional health can be counteracted with just focusing on more positive factors. By learning to cope with stressful situation as they arise in a healthier way I will become resilient and feel fabulous again!

How do you define yourself?

Let's face it...some of us define who we are by our relationships, children or jobs because it gives us a sense of validation. Although, I love being a wife, mommy and educator if you unravel all the layers of me you will find that I can not be defined by one title, one role, one word....I am complex.

Ultimately, what really defines who we are is the way we feel about ourselves. Our self-concept is the most important opinion. Some days I feel like a success, others a failure because there is still so much more that I want to do with my life and haven't.....yet. I also tend to dwell on decisions I made in the past and often wonder did if I made the best choices. It is so true when they say that we are our own worst critic.

The truth is my visible roles do not who I am. It's the woman that I am when I am alone with God that defines the real me. This is where I am truly at my best. This is where I am the most happiest. This is where I learn to rejoice both my successes and failures because there are lessons to be learned in both. This is where I learn to forgive myself and let go of my past. This is where I learn to love myself unconditionally just as He loves me. So how do I define myself.....I am a child of God.

How do you define yourself?

Journaling

Week #1 of my Feel Fabulous Makeover kicks off today by starting my journal. People say that writing in a daily journal is a great way to keep track of habits and can even help with weight loss just by recording what you eat everyday. Personally, I never was a fan of keeping a written journal but two years ago when I was trying to lose weight I recorded my weight and BMI in a notebook every time I weighed myself and seeing those numbers go down or up was a great motivation. So there is something to be said about writing things down honestly and without judgment.

So the first thing I did was to get this inexpensive yet inspiring journal and designated it my Feel Fabulous Journal! (Love the message on the cover!)

The trick is not to make writing in the journal another chore to do in an already busy day so I am dedicating only 10 minutes each night to journaling. I also decided to keep my entries short so instead of writing everything down in detail I'll just keep it simple by writing short comments or even jotting things down in bullet form.

Most importantly, I will write how I feel at the end of everyday:
1. Fabulous
2. On my way back to fabulousness
3. Unfabulous

I am hoping that journaling will allow me to relax and release some of my frustrations at the end of every day and also help me to identify any unhealthy habits and areas in my life that may be the reason I have been feeling not so fabulous lately.

I'll keep you posted!

My Feel Fabulous Makeover!

Lately, I haven't been feeling quite like myself. In other words unfabulous. It's been an extremely challenging school year so far and my calendar has been jammed packed with meetings, deadlines, workshops, conferences, dinner parties, social events....and oh yeah laundry! I really need an assistant! It just seems like there is always so much to do and never enough time to get it all done. By the end of most days, I am so exhausted that I barely put my head on the pillow at night before I am snoring sound asleep. It's gotten so bad that other people have even commented on the change they see in me. *sigh* I am just overwhelmed.

I can't pinpoint exactly when it started but slowly I feel myself losing my fabulousness! And that is just unacceptable. It took me too long to feel fabulous about myself to lose all that fabulousness in just a few stressful months. Although, I try to keep up with my outer appearance....I realized that I have been neglecting the inner me. Recently, I was reading an article on how you can give yourself a feel great makeover by setting and accomplishing small practical goals each week. Perfect! Because my mind, body and soul is desperate need of a makeover.

So here is how my Feel Fabulous make over is going to work. For the next 8 weeks I will make small changes in my life that will focus on a different goal. I am hoping that by doing this I will reorganize my life, regain my energy, rethink my routines and get my fabulousness back!

Week 1- Start a Journal
Week 2- Set New Health Goals
Week 3- Practice Positive Thinking
Week 4- Drink More Water
Week 5- Make Each Day More Active
Week 6- Add a New Exercise
Week 7- Catch Up on Sleep
Week 8- Be More Mindful

Each week I will share what I did to accomplish my weekly goal and who knows my feel fabulous makeover may inspire you to make some small changes that can result in big results. Hey, you have nothing to lose and everything fabulous to gain!