The Art of the Compromise

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A healthy marriage is all about sacrifice and compromise.

Compromise is when two or more people come to a mutual decision so that ultimately each party receives some satisfaction. In marriage compromising could mean you really want to go to the Lobster House for dinner and he really wants to go to the Steak House so you find a really great surf and turf restaurant or you want to watch that new movie on Lifetime and he really wants to watch the game so you let him watch the game and you set the DVR to tape your movie. That’s compromise!

Sacrifice is a whole other thing. Sacrifice is totally giving up something considered important to you for something considered to be more important to someone else. So let’s say your husband's company is treating all their employees to a Yankees game for the same night that you were supposed to have a very much needed girl’s night out. Since he was supposed to watch the kids and you are unable to get a reliable babysitter you sadly call your girlfriends and tell them to have a great time without you. That, my friends is called sacrifice!

In marriage there are daily compromises and sacrifices that we all make to keep the peace, some big and some small. I believe that both are necessary in a successful marriage. However, too much sacrifice can lead to a feeling of loss of self and in some cases resentment. In order to avoid that we should make sure that both partners are sacrificing equally because that’s when sacrifice turns into compromise.

Here are some ways to compromise with your spouse:

1. Listen to their point of view. (r.e.a.l.l.y listen)

2. Recognize and respect each others value. (so important)

3. Admit you were wrong and give in graciously. (sometimes it's okay to give in out of love for your spouse)

4. Agree to disagree. (sometimes a compromise can't be reached)

5. Have a real discussion and negotiate a compromise. (note: a real discussion does not mean a heated argument)

A successful marriage is a constant work in progress. Even after many years of marriage I am still learning how to make necessary compromises and sacrifices without totally abandoning what is important to me. It helps that I have a husband who understands that our marriage is a give and take.


12 comments:

Alicia@ Mommy Delicious on March 30, 2011 at 12:17 AM said...

Takes a lot of WORK to keep any successful relationship going, but compromise and sacrifice while being true to yourself is certainly at the time of the list.

karlene said...

So true!! It is very easy to lose who you are. Thank you for these words of wisdom!

Laila Knight on March 30, 2011 at 11:09 AM said...

Nikki, I hear you. There's so much to do that sometimes I feel like I'm neglecting my hubby. to remedy that we've established date night, which usually falls on a Friday...it's just me and him time.

TV's Take on March 31, 2011 at 9:26 AM said...

Well said! No marriage is perfect and there are so many peaks and valley but compromising is definitely the key.

Mommy LaDy Club on March 31, 2011 at 12:33 PM said...

Great advice...thank you so much! Nice to meet you from the Design it Chic blog boost:)
Courtney~Mommy LaDy Club

jill.galario on April 1, 2011 at 7:53 AM said...

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http://randomramblings-andamomof1.blogspot.com/

Susanmeep on April 1, 2011 at 12:37 PM said...

#1 is important.

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thank you :)

Jennifer on April 1, 2011 at 1:48 PM said...

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Pamela on April 1, 2011 at 2:23 PM said...

People like to say marriage is 50/50. But really, don't you think that sometimes our husbands give 60 and we give 40...then sometimes we give 70 and they give 30. In the end,like a good compromise, it comes out evenly.

I'm a new GFC follower.

Blessings on your weekend. I hope you enjoy it and find a fun surprise tucked in.

Pamela

Meryl on April 1, 2011 at 5:53 PM said...

Great blog post and great advice (I liked the comic at the end too!). I am really glad I blog hopped over here. Looking forward to more.

Meryl
http://departingthetext.blogspot.com

Nicole on April 2, 2011 at 8:32 AM said...

I am finally able to get back to reading my followers blogs and what a great post I came back to. Your post says volumes about how to have a successful marriage. It helps when both parties agree to compromise and sacrifice. It's also important to know when to stand your ground for something that you feel strongly about. it's like you said, you don't want to lose yourself. This is when communication and honesty comes in. This is so important. Good post!

Nikki on April 5, 2011 at 6:17 PM said...

Thanks Ladies!

I guess we all agree that marriage is a give and take. No one said it would be easy but if we can learn to compromise we could make each other happy without losing ourselves in the process!

Unconditionally yours,

Nikki

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